Dream On...

I keep seeing myself. In recent picutres or in refelections or what every it may be. It is so scary. What I see now doesn't seem or feel like me. What I see is this pretty tall and big guy. I guess its just that I have always compared my literal size to those around me and have always felt short or what ever. But lately when I see myself I feel like a grown up lol. That I am finaly of that level where I am a person? Its so complicated it seems, like I keep thinkin that Im just a lil boy running around playing make believe and will realize that its all just a dream and Ill wake up soon enough and realize that i'm a lil boy.

I was talking with my grandpa today and I dont remember how it came up but I got this feeling that its going by so fast. Im almost out of high school and dont really remember a whole lot of it. And then next I'll be almost out of college and what is it all for? Just to live another day to do it all again, rutine. It just scares me a little and like in the end....theres gonna be almost nothing left of me, just random things that people wont really care about.

But I like who I see in that reflection. I like how his hands look shaped and used for a talent. I like how his pouster shows that hes confident of himself. I like how he either has a smile on his face or seems to be in a fog, thinking of something. I like how his style of clothing isn't the normal holister or A&F but still looks good on him. I like how he knows that he is cocky and that it will probly hurt him in the end but still dreams, dreams on about a great life and what he can and will do that will some how last and be remembered, if its either through an amazing music career or if its just one little phase of "dont worry" in someones mind. I like him. I like that guy I see in the reflection in the window.

Pinch Me

It's the perfect time of day
To throw all your cares away
Put the sprinkler on the lawn
And run through with my gym shorts on.
Take a drink right from the hose
And change into some drier clothes
Climb the stairs up to my room
Sleep away the afternoon.

You know how nice that would be? I think i'm gonna do that this week...just not worry about anything really and just chill out. I have time before college and things are due, im still a senior and should be having fun jezz. Who cares if I have a date to prom or if I have money for stuff or anything. yea. be nice

What is love?

So today in English we were talking about Love alot, and what it is and how it acts. I saw this verse on my blog and thought it was good.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

I think that is very true, it goes along with Corinth 13 pretty good as well. Love....love is a truth. It is cut and dry and rare.

Whats Wrong With Jeremy Camp?

He has good songs and praise God, whats wrong with that?!

Iono, people frusterate me. Its not the song that you sing but the voice you sing it with. The words dont matter, it is where your heart is. Iono, i dont wanna go into it cuz I will just get really frusterated with everything and it will only piss me off even more.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see so clearly

Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed


When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing Your praise
Than when we first begun

Jordy

I want to clear up some things. I think the way I tried explaining my views and what not were not the best. I didn't mean for you guys not to miss him or feel sad. I think it is alright for that and you should do so if you truly felt close to him. I'm sorry if the way I worded it made it sound like you shouldn't. I don't feel as I should attempt to explain what exactly I did mean because its not worth it at this point. So, I'm sorry.

On a lighter note, its Sunday and ive been sick the whole weekend which sucks. But I've had it all off from work so it was ok. I got a good start on my AP euro art project and its starting to look somewhat good.

Favorite Verse

Proverbs 18:2

A fool finds no pleasure in understanding
but delights in airing his own opinions.

Shine

This is the only way to describe it:

dull as dirt
you can´t assert the kind of light
that might persuade
a strict dictator to retire
fire the army
teach the poor origami
the truth is in
the proof is when
you hear your heart start asking,
"What´s my motivation?"


and try as you may, there isn´t a way
to explain the kind of change
that would make an Eskimo renounce fur
that would make a vegetarian barbecue hamster
unless you can trace this about-face
to a certain sign...

shine
make ´em wonder what you´ve got
make ´em wish that they were not
on the outside looking bored
shine
let it shine before all men
let´em see good works, and then
let ´em glorify the Lord

out of the shaker and onto the plate
it isn´t Karma
it sure ain´t fate
that would make a Deadhead sell his van
that would make a schizophrenic turn in his crayons
Oprah freaks
and science seeks a rationale
that shall excuse
this strange behavior

when you let it shine
you will inspire
the kind of entire turnaround
that would make a bouncer take ballet
(even bouncers who aren't happy)
but out of the glare
with nowhere to turn
you ain´t gonna learn it on "What´s My Line?"

So the one thing I cant stand is....

Death. Not because someone died but because how it makes people act. I HATE it because people look at it in the totaly wrong way. Everyone always is so sad about it and has this negative idea to it. They take the greatest gift that is possible to us and make it BAD. It is just what satan would have wanted. Someone is with God and its the worst thing ever. People start asking God why, why him or her. Why could the bus be 10 secs later. Because thats how it had to be, thats the way God wrote the play. It just frusterates me beyond belief how people act about death. Just get over it and move on, everyone will have it one day. Sure remember the person but dont try living for them or anything. They had their chance to live and made something of it. Dont waste your time trying to renew someone else's.

Dive

Im diving in Im going deep in over my head I want to be
Caught in the rush lost in the flow in over my head I want to go
The rivers deep the rivers wide the rivers water is alive
So sink or swim Im diving in

Oh My Gosh that is what I want right now. I want to be emerged into this amazingness and just be thrilled to be doing it. And while doing it I want to SWIM. There is this overwhelming feeling right now and I just want it, I need to work for it.

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

We're horrible, just look at us. I cant stand it, I don't understand why people do what they do and know what they are and anything. It frusterates me beyond belief. I feel as if I am the only one that has a slightest clue of what we're meant to live for

In his name

John 14:

13And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. 14You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

15"If you love me, you will obey what I command."

Wow

"Hey Indy hows it going? BIG J!!!!! BIG J!!!!! lol good times. Ill see you at youth group.(because the evil school didn't put in any classes together)" ~ Jordan

" Indy your amazing, I just want you to know that. Keep it up kid =)" ~ Rachel

"I Wanna Rock and Roll.... Good call Indy! Way to put on the throwback and appreciate the guys from back in the day. I'm pickin' up what you're layin' down." ~ Joe

" I love your profile song! welcome to the jungle rocks (Guns and roses), and so does Kiss => you have good taste in music
lots of loves
sammy" ~ Sammy

" hEy inDy!!!

wOw..nO lie you rock!! I am so glad i know you, thank you for being there for me, ecpecially this week after everything at school. I don't know what i would have done if i didn't have someone else to talk to. I know i did the right thing it's just nice to have someone who will listen and talk to me. Thank you indy!! i owe you so much

tOnsa lOve!!!!!
♥♥Tiffany!" ~ Tiff

"DUDE! Thats an awsome song...so you just got jacked. Just wanted to say hi and see how you are doing hope your being a loser! Oh yeah what song did you want to do anyways ttyl!" ~ Tyler

So I was reading all my old comments, like my very first ones...makes me remember good times. Sophomore year....so easy. I miss those people...I miss who they were...I miss who I was...it just seemed like things were alot better and easier to deal with. It seemed more like ME then me, when I accualy cared about people maybe? Iono. Then all the stupid stuff like Big J and music lol. Oh how I wish we could go back now, to the times that were fun...so sick of these lies that no one else's mind has won...