Easy Come Easy Go

You want to take the easy way out with this sergery because your scared, and your scared because if you try and fail, there's only you to blame. Life is scary, get used to it. There are no magical fixes, its all up to you. So get up off your kester and get out of here and start doing the work. What if its too hard? Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy.

My Keeper

In moment of truth we always reveal who we really are. Sometimes we're our own worst enemy, and sometimes we rise to the occasion, even though we all know tomorrow morning that the three of us will go back to being the most unapreciated people in the whole hospital.

I think everyday is made up of tiny little tests. Some are tests of character, some are tests of fortitude, others are tests of friendship. And if your lucky, when it really matters you'll pass with flying colors.

So often you feel like your alone on an island, whether its just that you cant bring yourself to make a really important decision, or if your waiting for an answer, of if you simply know a secret that you wish you didn't. For me, I was stuck on that island because someone else stuck me there. Its not always easy to do the right thing, like putting someone else's feelings first for a change, even if it goes against what you really want. Of course, theres always randifications. Even if you do the right thing, theres no guaranty that it will turn out the right way. Because even something as harmless as 20 to 30 drinks with your brother can end up biting you on your butt.

Good Riddance!

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

I heard this playing today at work and I pretty much just stopped dead in my tracks. I really had to think about it and how hearing the song was really what I needed because its how I've been feeling lately. I have finally decided about college and I dont think I am going to go, atleast not this coming year. It really was something unpredictable but I know in the end it will be right, and this summer to next summer I will have the time of my life because I will be using it to just work on whatever I want. My plan is to get a full time job this summer and to work had and get tons of cash. While I am not working I am going to use that time to work on music. I want to put out a CD by the end of summer. I know a place where I can record everything and I have some ideas of where to sell or promote it. I have some awesome people that I'm sure would love to help me when it comes to playing. But what it really comes down it is just being able to say yeah, I accomplished something. I may not have a degree or a deploma, but to me what I have is better. I have a disc with my heart and soul in it, and there are others listening to me pour it out. After this I'm going to try getting back with some friends I know and start playing around, churches and what not and get my name out there, maybe take the band if things work out. Baby steps though, I know things will happen one way or another. I am really excited to take a year off and just do what I want. To not have any deadlines or things I HAVE to do besides work. It will be good, Gooooood.

My Drive-By

Ego is good, its the reason that guy wants you to be his surgant, its the reason that shes boarder line attracted to you. In medicine, have of pulling it off is believing that your the biggest smartest bad-ass of a docter to ever walk these halls. As I ganster leaned down the hallways in the rad new wheels I found by the dumpster, I couldn't help but think how ego affects everything. Without a healthy dose of it you cant trust yourself to do what you really want. But with too much ego you could end up losing something you still wished you had. But with the right amount, nothing can get in your way.

Don't Let The Days Go By....

Must be your skin that I'm sinkin in
Must be for real cause now I can feel
and I didn't mind
it's not my kind
not my time to wonder why
everything's gone white
and everything's grey
now your here now you away
I don't want this
remember that
I'll never forget where your at
don't let the days go by
glycerine

I'm never alone
I'm alone all the time
are you at one
or do you lie
we live in a wheel
where everyone steals
but when we rise it's like strawberry fields

If I treated you bad
you bruise my face
couldn't love you more
you got a beautiful taste
don't let the days go by
could have been easier on you
I coudn't change though I wanted to
could have been easier by three
our old friend fear and you and me
glycerine (repeat)
don't let the days go by
glycerine

I needed you more
when we wanted us less
I could not kiss just regress
it might just be
clear simple and plain
that's just fine
that's just one of my names
don't let the days go by
could've been easier on you
glycerine

That One Feeling...

Its funny when you work so hard for something and then get it, but not exactly how you thought. I love the feeling right now because it feels as if me hard work finaly has paid off. I accualy got more than I wanted in a way. Tonite was our "audition" for playing at grad sunday and we rocked. We worked so hard and we got a great result. I was told that I am a very skilled guitar player and even have a good singing voice, which I wasn't expecting to hear. I've always hear that it wasn't that great but tonight it just was I guess. Working with mindy and always singing with her helped me alot because I started to pick up on her vocal changes. As for guitar, hehe, I just love hearing that I'm so good cuz well, its my pride and joy and its what I'm all about....even if I rush a little.

My Chopped Liver

Sometimes that's the way life works, the person that does the nice thing is the person who suffers most. Whether it's giving up Turk Nite for a friend, going out with an intern to make your wife happy, or agreeing to be the bad guy for your boss. When your the one that ends up paying the price, it can really make you wonder...was it worth it?

If I told him what I went through he would feel horrible, why would I do that if I love him so much?

ITS TOO HOT.

Rocking Out

Wow, practice was awesome last nite! I feel like we really worked as a team and got the songs down. The only thing was that it drained me so much. I already wasnt feeling great cuz whenever theres a hot day out of no where I get a huge headache. My throat was also really hurting and I dont really why that was and so singing just killed and everything felt inflamed. So when I got home I just crashed into bed and it was nice to lay down but I started having weird dreams and I couldnt sleep for more than an hour. so when I finaly got up it was just horrible. I still have a headache and I feel like I have no energy and my mouth is really really dry but when I go to drink water it hurts alot! Oh and I'm really sore cuz of all the jumping around at band practice.

And its really nice out which doesn't help.

My Porcilian Godess

Watching Kevin go I just wondered how gay I looked giving that two-handed hand shake. And also how weird it was that someone could just walk into your life, make such a big impact and then just vanish like that, never to be seen again. But also how in some small way, Kevin had helped every single person he had met here. If there's something that you know you can do like intibating a patient or poppin a squat on the roof, and your mind keeps throwing up roadblocks, just know you can drive right threw them. I think its human nature to search for answers. Sometimes the answer you get is the one you least expect. But more often than not, the answer we've been looking for is the one that has been inside us all along. I guess the important thing is to never stop searching.

I have found it.

Everything

It's hard to look at everything in perspective, knowing that it all is ok and works out and that we shouldn't worry too much. God provides well. Whats hard is to sit in a room with the person you would think would be the most understanding and faithful, and to hear him have no faith at all. Whats hard is to listen to a man speak about what is right, and to know that he has no clue what right is. Its hard listening to this man, to have confidence in him or anything, because in the end it wont matter. In the end, he will still be on his high horse and you will be in the exact position you are already in, if not worse. In the end you still will not have enough confidence to tell him exactly what you think and feel, and everything will just keep going forwards while you go backwards. I hate this knowledge. I dont want anything to do with it, I just want things to be simplier.

I guess thats why they say

Every rose has it's thorn.

And yes, I still have doubts about my decision, but I guess I'm just hoping that the doubts will fade away. Who am I kidding, aventualy we all have to face the music.

Those Nights

I remember when
We used to laugh
About nothing at all
It was better than going mad
From trying to solve all the problems we're going through
Forget 'em all
Cause on those nights we would stand and never fall
Together we faced it all
Remember when we'd

Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In a dark room lit by the tv light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive

listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive

I remember when
We used to drive
Anywhere but here
As long as we'd forget our lives
We were so young and confused that we didn't know
To laugh or cry
Those nights were ours
They will live and never die
Together we'd stand forever
Remember when we'd

My Work Day

We hated our sergent. Yeah, he was mean to us, over worked us. Still, maybe sometimes thats what being a good leader is. Uniting everybody, to give them someone to hate. In life it seems that we all have a roll to play, some of us are meant to be loved, and some of us unfortunatly are meant to be hated.

Today at work I was told by 3 of the 4 other people I was working with that they didn't really like me. They told me I was very cocky and went on constant power trips. The thing is, to me, the cocky is to make up for the harshness I do to them. I know I am really strict when it comes to work and that, well they probly dont like me no. But maybe that is the only way to be a good leader sometimes, I feel if I dont take charge that chelsea, the real boss, wont and everything will just get done whenever people choose. I feel too responsible while everyone else isn't and that I have to make sure my mignons are on track, if thats yelling at them not to be eating and go bus, then thats what it is. I try not to be a hypocrite at work and with my work ethic, that is something I really work on doing because it is not right for me to tell them something and yet do it myself. And if giving them a reason to not like me is the only way they can get through the night and finish somewhat on time, I am ok with that. I'm willing to let them hate me for the wellness of our business, after all it is for the residence, not us.

My Extra Mile

I knew if i didnt leave that bar and go back i would never be able to enjoy the simple things. Even a woman eating my former bangs. See thats the thing about being an Extra-Mile Guy, you never know who its gonna rub off on.

Song Of Hope

 I will sing a song of hope

Sing along

God of heaven come down

Heaven come down

Just to know that You are near is enough

God of heaven come down, heaven come down