You come to me with scars on your wrist
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this
I just came to say goodbye
I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine
But I know it's a lie

I hate feelin' like this,
I'm so tired of tryin' to fight this.
I don't wanna live.
I don't wanna breathe.
I don't wanna sleep.
I don't wanna dream,

Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Dreaming of the way it used to be

The One

I am here, and I'm with You now And didn't think I could feel this way I am here, and I'm with You now Because You found me somehow.

I can be the one tonight When everything seems out of sight I will follow You with all my life I can be the one tonight Jesus, You are the one that makes me smile Over and over again I am here and I'm with You now I want to hear You somehow.

You sure Shock me

Your lightnin's all I need
My satisfaction grows
You make me feel at ease
You even make me glow
Don't cut the power on me
I'm feelin' low, so get me high

Shock me, make me feel better
Shock me, put on your black leather
Shock me, we can come together

And baby, if you do what you've been told
My insulation's gone, girl you make me overload

Don't pull the plug on me, no, no
Keep it in and keep me high

Shock me, make me feel better
Shock me, put on your black leather
Shock me, we can come together
Come on

Shock me, baby, shock me, oh yeah
Shock me, baby, shock me, oh yeah

Shock me, make me feel better, oh yeah
Come on and shock me, put on your black leather
Baby, I'm down to the bare wire
Shock me, we can come together
Oh yeah, I wanna feel your power
Shock me, make me feel better
Baby, I'm down to the bare wire
Shock me, put on your black leather
Baby, come on, come on, shock me

Flu

SUCKS

I Am Indy

I am Indy
I am Indy
Hey
Hey
I am everything I want
I got everything I need
Know exactly what to do cause I am Indy
Hey
And I love the way I feel
To be me is something real cause I am Indy
I am Indy
Hey
I am everything I want
I got everything I need
Know exactly what to do cause I am Indy
Hey
And I love the way I feel
When I get behind the wheel
Cause I am Indy
I am Indy
Hey I am Indy
Hey I am Indy
Hey I am Indy
Hey I am Indy
Hey I am Indy
Hey I am Indy


So this is the song that Gene Simmons wrote for his IndyCar campaine, which is I Am Indy. So I thought it was pretty friggin sweet and wanted to share, cuz its me!

Listening, Feeling, and Wanting

So today I started getting really freaked out about college. One of my friends told me that they got into a college and I just kinda went huh, I guess they wont be with me forever. I mean I was really excited about college and leaving and starting over or whatever but when you realize that none of your friends will be there, that you will be completly alone, Its tough.

But then again, at the same time I am so excited because it will be new. It will be my DREAM! I will be in a all Christian school using my talents to learn. I will be on the path of a professional musician!!! Right now I feel that music is me, that I cant go a second without singing for playing guitar(real or air) and just rocking out. Then since I am learning piano it just feels that its becoming more real, that God is allowing me to grow and learn and become what I need to be. Yes there are times when I lose focus, but in the end I knew exactly what I will be. I will not be a Rockstar in a awesome band, I will not be someone that everyone in the world will know who I am, but I will be a worshiper. I will lead thousands and thousands in worship through music. Are you as excited as I AM?!? Being on a stage with 10,000 people all looking at you and listening to you and what your ten little fingers are doing, and when they feel it and want to live it just like me.

But until then, I am satisfied with myself listening and feeling and wanting to live. Dream on, dream on, dream until your dreams come true.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

We both lie silently still
In the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside

Was it something I said or something I did
Did my words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess thats why they say

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

I listen to our favorite song
Playing on the radio
Hear the dj say loves a game of easy come and
Easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that youd be here right now
If I could have let you know somehow
I guess

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Though its been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
But the scar, that scar remains


I know I could have saved a love that night
If Id known what to say
Instead of makin love
We both made our separate ways

But now I hear you found somebody new
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Un Poem Pour Vous

j'ai changé
I have changed
Je suis nouveau
I am new
J'ai cherché
I have searched
Et je suis beau
And I am beautiful

I Miss You

Hello there the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in backround of the morgue
The unsespecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never end

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting everytime
And as I stared I counted the webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me your already the voice inside my head

I miss you miss you

If I'm here all alone
If I'm left behind
If they spit in my face
If they hate my kind

I will rise above
I will live for love
I will answer to the call
For the bond between
For the depth unseen
For my God forsake it all

'Cause I'm a fire
I'm a flood
I'm a revolution
I am a war
Already won
I'm a revolution

When the world is at war
When the grace is gone
When the hungry lay dead
While the rich live on

I will rise above
I will live for love
I will answer to the call
For the bond between
For the depth unseen
For my God forsake it all

(Here I stand)
Open hands
Waiting for You
I won't back down
I'll live to speak Your truth

Who I am

"It helps to be delusional, if you don't love yourself, who's gonna love you?" ~Gene Simmons

So I was told today that I had to listen to others, that I didn't know everything. I joked around for a lil saying yes I did and all but then they told me that some people think I am hard to work with when it comes to things because I believe that I am always right and that I cant be wrong. This was interesting for me to hear really..But when I thought about it, it would be nice if I was always right. To address the quote, I believe it. I truly think if you do not love yourself then no one will love you the same. You have to know of your talents and what you can do. You have to be able to walk in a room and be confident that you are the best at what you do in the room. But you have to be humble about it, you have to know that you are the best because God made you the best, he gave you that talent. If it wasnt for God then you wouldnt be what you are.

“When a vacuum-cleaner salesman comes knocking on your door, he’s not selling a vacuum cleaner, he’s selling himself. If you’ll buy him, you’ll buy a vacuum cleaner."

can you hear me scream from the abyss?

Quelle un gaspillage

Pourquoi? je m'assieds ici et je te vois, je vois te me ments. Pourquoi? Alors, je pense que tu as besion de tes affiers et je ne dois pas t'enerver. Mais tu m'as menti, tu as menti. Maintanent, tu flirtes avec ce garcon, pandant je te veux. Tu me detestes, pourquoi? Parce que je suis comme toi, je suis un grand flirt comme toi. Tu me detestes toujours pour dont je suis. Je veux te frapper sur la tete parce que tu es tres stupide, tu ne sais pas ce que tu as. tu te y'assieds, quelle un gross gaspillage de mes temps.

why? I sit here and i see you, i see you lying to me. why? Then, i tink that you need your stuff, and i shouldnt bug you. But you lied to me. you lied. Now you flirt with that boy, while i want you. you hate me, why? because i am like you, i am a big flirt like you. You always hate me for who i am. i want to hit you on the head beacuse you are so stupid. you dont know what you are. you sit there, qhat a fat waste of my time.

Nails in your hands

Nails in your hands, nails in your feet,
Tell me how much you love me
thorns in your brow, they tell me how
you bore so much pain to love me

And when the heavens pass away,
all your scars will still remain,
and forever they will say,
how much you love me.

Forever my love, Forever my heart
Forever my life, it's yours, it's yours.

God loves you, dont forget it

je te veux

Je te veux. Je veux que tu aies besion de moi. Je t'aurai.

College!!!

So today i was doing more college stuff...real fun. SO in the mail today i got the confermidation of my $4,000 in grants from the school and i can get another $500 by visiting. So that really made me happy.

Then I was filling out apps for room and board stuff and i noticed one of the things they said we should being was a Bible, which I know its a christian college but still, found it to be pretty cool. Cuz it was just in a list with a whole bunch of regular stuff.

Who are you?

"Have u ever realize that certain people do wtever they wana do and some people do wtever they has to do"

You see this all the time but do we ever really think about it? Do we ever sit down and think which we are? I have to say, I am one of the people that do what I have to, I dont get to chose what it is I want to do and not to do. And I think everyone should be the same, I dont believe people should have to power to not do what they should, not do their work that they are being paid to do. Sure they can slide by though, they can do as they chose, but is it right? They dont suffer anything because everyone else picks up their slack because they dont want to fall behind so therefor, no repercusions. Its so tough to deal with, cuz u cant just go up to them and tell them what they are doing wrong to their face, because you will feel like a bad person and still wanna be friends. But at the same time you cant let this act of unjustice keep going. Owell..

Praise

I cant stop thinking about how great God is. Like really, I am just amazed by everything hes doing and Im feeling. Im feeling like things are slowly taking place and things are working out. Im feeling like hes telling me to just wait, build that ARK and to give him my all. And thats how I felt today at practice. I felt that I didnt deserve to sing praise to him, that I shouldnt have been able to sing and play, that I should have been on my knees the whole time, bowing down. But as I stood there in practice playing away I felt him with me, and I felt that I have to try to get people into it, that I have to be energetic and "work" the crowd, that if Im up there jumping around or having a smile on my face that they will see that I really love what I am doing and I am PRAISING my Lord and that its a HAPPY THING. Worship DOES NOT have to be boring and slow. Yes, it should be intimate at times but it also should be joyful.

Psalm 150

1 Praise the LORD.
Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens.

2 Praise him for his acts of power;
praise him for his surpassing greatness.

3 Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,
praise him with the harp and lyre,

4 praise him with tambourine and dancing,
praise him with the strings and flute,

5 praise him with the clash of cymbals,
praise him with resounding cymbals.

6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD.

I dont mind You coming here, wasting all my time

I hear you God, bright and clear. I know what I have to do, I know the standards you want me to live you to and I will do that. I will be the best worship leader because my heart is for you and YOU only.

I guess youre just what I needed
(just what I needed)

Me

Ohh Lordy, I really am trying to be that better person you want me to be, mais je sais ce que je fais que tu n'aimes pas. The thought of you is amazing, ce me sents étanant, tres. Maybe once my life restarts I will understand, je comprendrai ma vie et le monde. You are my GOD! Vous etes ma DIEU!!!! JE SUIS SI HEUREUX QUE VOUS ETES! VOUS SEULEMENT are my savior