Wants

Its funny when you want something so badly, more than you have ever wanted something. And you want it so badly because you know you can have it. You know you can have it but you dont know how to get it. Its not the thing that everyone wants that you want so desperatly, but the thing that everyone could have that you want. Its not the thing that makes your eyes jump, but the one that makes your soul dance. Its the one that makes you feel like the stupidest guy in the world but at the same time the luckiest. The one that makes you wonder, "why me?" Then you realize it is because you chose it. It is because you want it so deeply that you can have it and somehow will. Then that is when you know in the end, it doesn't matter how you get it, because you want it solely you have it. You have it in the palm of your hand and it is just waiting for you to grasp it. It is that grasp though, that is keeping you from having it, it is the thing that you fear most. It is the thing that makes you think that it is not yours when you know more than you've ever know anything that it always has been yours. And that grasp is the thing that often lets it fall through your fingers to where someone else realizes that it is theirs. That fall, is what makes it so hard to grasp it, that is what makes you fear the tightening of your fingers because what if, what if it happens again? What if when you go to grasp it, you can't? That the exact thing will happen and you can't stand to do it once again because you hate knowing you let the thing you wanted most fall, fall into someone else's hands to grasp, and you are left with nothing else but the things that everyone else wants, which you dispise the most.