can’t and not get caught, but, instead, let’s turn
and run towards the light!
We’re dancing on the fence.
We’re losing innocence,
but we can’t expect to live like this forever.
We weren’t made to live like this, no never!
This is something that has been on my mind alot lately...just the fact of everyone going off to college and moving on to new and more exciting things but now they are coming home to tell all about it. Its just the fact that you always thought you knew them and who they were but now we're finding out who they really are, what they really believe. At the same time its nice to know that only a few of us really are true to our word, true to ourselves and it makes us even more sure of who we are and what we want to be. Its just interesting because with friends I meet that were already like that I just accepted it as them but when I have friends who are just turning into that I know its not really who they should be and it kills me to know. Double standard I guess but its real. Yet at the same time you wonder what they think of you now, how you've changed and what you have turned into. If its someone who you said you never thought you'd be or if its someone who just blends into the mist.
On another note, I'm starting to come back to my old self on trusting God. The last few days I've just layed myself down and said ok god, I trust you with this stuff and I know in the end it will turn out to something amazing and thats what I want. It really is worth the waiting, so dont wuss out halfway through because its starting to get hard. Just know that if it really truly is what you think it is then it cant go wrong.
Christmas is here...i think it might accualy be my first white Christmas ever..which is cool but at the same time kinda weird and I'm starting to hate the snow cuz there are days where I cant do anything or go anywhere besides work. I can drive in it just fine and its not hard or anything but its the parentals that disagree. I guess they just dont understand that with this type of weather im not going to mess around cuz I love my car too much to try to go 45 down murry while its 6 inches deep of snow. And it scares the crap outa me to do that cuz any minute I could hit ice or loss control. But my car handles great in it and I'm having fun. Yet at the same time I cant wait for it all to be gone and have alot of things just back to normal..including work. I feel like I work my butt off and then i get a check thats less than $300 which isnt something I wanna see. I'm used to $400 and than another $200 but i barley made $400 between the two. I cant live off of $400 every two weeks..I need $600 lol. Ive been getting used to the comfort of having some extra cash to throw around but I've been making do with what Ive been getting cuz I have to, so I know once it goes back to what it should be I'll be saving tons for some things I really want like my car. So much to do with the car, fix some body issues, fix some things with the steering, get new rims, get a new paint job, finish my audio system which I am sooo pumped to do cuz its already bumping pretty nicely but with 2 12" subs at 1200 watts, WOW thats going to sound amazing. ALSO I have this trust fund thing that I should be getting sooner or later which will be a good amount that I'm going to put in another account and just have it build but I'm going to use some of that for a lil surprise. So after Christmas if I get the money ask tell me to show you my surprise and I will, its going to be awesome I cant wait.
On another note, I'm starting to come back to my old self on trusting God. The last few days I've just layed myself down and said ok god, I trust you with this stuff and I know in the end it will turn out to something amazing and thats what I want. It really is worth the waiting, so dont wuss out halfway through because its starting to get hard. Just know that if it really truly is what you think it is then it cant go wrong.
Christmas is here...i think it might accualy be my first white Christmas ever..which is cool but at the same time kinda weird and I'm starting to hate the snow cuz there are days where I cant do anything or go anywhere besides work. I can drive in it just fine and its not hard or anything but its the parentals that disagree. I guess they just dont understand that with this type of weather im not going to mess around cuz I love my car too much to try to go 45 down murry while its 6 inches deep of snow. And it scares the crap outa me to do that cuz any minute I could hit ice or loss control. But my car handles great in it and I'm having fun. Yet at the same time I cant wait for it all to be gone and have alot of things just back to normal..including work. I feel like I work my butt off and then i get a check thats less than $300 which isnt something I wanna see. I'm used to $400 and than another $200 but i barley made $400 between the two. I cant live off of $400 every two weeks..I need $600 lol. Ive been getting used to the comfort of having some extra cash to throw around but I've been making do with what Ive been getting cuz I have to, so I know once it goes back to what it should be I'll be saving tons for some things I really want like my car. So much to do with the car, fix some body issues, fix some things with the steering, get new rims, get a new paint job, finish my audio system which I am sooo pumped to do cuz its already bumping pretty nicely but with 2 12" subs at 1200 watts, WOW thats going to sound amazing. ALSO I have this trust fund thing that I should be getting sooner or later which will be a good amount that I'm going to put in another account and just have it build but I'm going to use some of that for a lil surprise. So after Christmas if I get the money ask tell me to show you my surprise and I will, its going to be awesome I cant wait.
2 comments:
"I know its not really who they should be..."
And just who should they be? Your image of the ideal person clouds your sense and scope of reality. It's funny but many people go off to find themselves but some stay and, tragically, never change.
But these are changes that they shouldn't be making. These are things that ruined who they were for so long and who they believed they wanted to be. I personaly wouldn't want to be who they are becoming and so I am not. Everyone changes, theres no preventing it but its the changes that you choose to make, the ones that you either accept or dont and thus proving who you are. Trials and tests, beginings and ends. Its either you fall in with everyone one else or you set yourself aside from the world because you choose to. Theres no in between, which is what people dont understand. Either you do as you should and as you moraly believe or you dont. There is no hypocracy because once you become a hypocrite you are part of everyone else and those morals and beliefs no longer are your morals and beliefs because you dont abid to them. All you are then is a liar. One of which pretends that they still have a connection but in reality cant because how can they have that connection if they dont have the will to do what they claim to believe. Thus they change their morals so that they themselves are in the moraly okay area. Where is it that you set your morals? At yourself, YOU are always going to think of yourself as a good person. That is where your morals really come in, to where you set your limits for your own life. There is no universal set of morals that everyone abids to, no "golden rule" so to speak. Everyone is going to do what they want and justify themselfs however they want because they had to convince themselves to begin with so of course they are okay with what is going on. No one is going to not want to kill someone while they are killing someone and go to court saying they didnt want to do it. They made their mind up about it and decided it was what they wanted to do. Only you can prevent forest fires.
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