I Wish I Could Say

Everyone keeps talking about how we've changed. Its been a year more or less since we've seen each other cuz of school and what not but everytime they say it, they make it sound bad. I cant stand it. They say it from what they see in a few hour glimps but not in the whole years span or even a few days worth. When ever someone says it to me I just always think to myself, how do you know? You wernt here for any of it and you dont see anything I do, you dont even really know me now. If they were to look at what I do I feel they would respect me for it. Or atleast they should, I work my butt off so I can have an easy life. So that I wont be poor for all my life, so I can sucessed where ever I go. Its funny how much people tell me at Creekside about myself. How my cook constantly tells me I've grown up and taken charge when I need to, how when I do something I dont just do it but I put an extra effort into it. How he calls on me because I am dependable and accualy care about my job. Not just going through the motions but trying harder each time. Then when my supervisor tells me shes trusts me when shes not there, that she asks me my opinion and feedback because I am set apart from the others, I am more of a collige than another worker. When ever they tell me this stuff I just kinda push it out and say thank you but not very often do I accualy care, because I already know it, I makes sure I am like that. To me that what work is, its a place where you go and do what you have to and its not seperate from your personal life, as much as sometimes it would be nice. You bring who you are into the game and you win. Its wierd to think about it but I know how true it is, I am only truely happy when I am working. I complain about having to do it and what not but its when I am there doing it I know its good, I know it will make me who I want to be one day. On my days off I get so bored because I feel like I should be working, making money. Today was one of the first days where I accualy was cooking at Creekside. I was the one calling the shots and deciding how I wanted things and I loved it. I loved having someone else trust me with a huge thing like dinner and having the freedom to bring my style and self into what would happen. I laughed a little cuz I had called my girl at Haggen and asked about what was in something because I couldnt remember exactly what was and I had to improvise and it turned out great. So when people say I've changed I know they are right but for the wrong reasons. I know I have in a great way and that in the end, whos to say I wont be the one on top? Some people spend their time and energy into changing their bodies, their personal life or their image. While they've been doing that I've been pretty busy changing my career. I'm not saying that those other things your focusing on are bad things, I'm just saying mines better. Haha and no, I have havnt changed a bit. I'll always be that same old cocky church boy who no one believes in. But dont worry, I never really cared if you did anyway because all I care about is I know what I can do and I can move moutains. I have the answer, the key and the truth and no one can take that away from me. What makes me even happier is I know that Ive made it this far all by myself. I dont have someone doing everything for me, I work hard so I can take care of my own things and not have to ask my parents or friends for help when I know they couldnt. And thats why I love working. Cuz everything is mine and mine alone, something I will charish all my life is knowing I steped out into the working world and didnt take freebees but took care of myself. Everything was my gains and my loses.