Stop right there
That’s exactly where I lost it
See that line
Well I never should've crossed it
Stop right there
Well I never should've said that
It’s the very moment that I wish that I could take back

Who I am hates who I've been

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the pacific
And you might think I’m losing my mind
But I will shy away from the specifics
Cause I don't want you to know where I am
Cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it’s ever been
And this is no place to try and live my life

Stop right there
That’s exactly where I lost it
See that line
Well I never should've crossed it
Stop right there
Well I never should've said that
It’s the very moment that I wish that I could take back

I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

I talked to absolutely no one
Couldn't keep to myself enough
And the things bottled inside had finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'd soon blow up

And I heard the reverberating footsteps
Syncing up to the beating of my heart
And I was positive that unless I got myself together
I would watch me fall apart

And I can’t let that happen again
Cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it’s ever been
And this is no place to try and live my life

Who I am hates who I’ve been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me
Who I am hates who I’ve been
Cause who I’ve been only ever made me

I Will Stand Up

I will stand up now, I will not step down.
I will do my best to wear this crown,
but I need You as You guide me through today.

Everything he has is You

So this song was stuck in my head alot of the day. And I know exactly why. I heard it on the radio yesterday when I was with mindy and I pretty much made her shut up so I could rock out to it. Last night I sorta made a deal with God and he accauly let me try to stick to it. And I was doing fine, like I knew in my heart all day that I would be fine and that Im different now. When the time for the deal rolled around this part of the song came into my head:

I will stand up now, I will not step down.

And it was there cuz I have to stand up NOW. I cant try to get around it. I need to stand up for God and what I promised Him and what I know I have to do. The best part is that I wasnt even temped. I cant step down now, not when there is so much more to lose this time.

Everything he has is You

IM BACK

Back in the New York Groove. Being grounded sucked but dont worry guys cuz IM BACK!

Many years since I was here, on the street I was passin' my time away
To the left and to the right, buildings towering to the sky
It's outta sight in the dead of night
Here I am, again in this city, with a fistful of dollars
And baby, you'd better believe

I'm back, back in the New York Groove
I'm back, back in the New York Groove
I'm back, back in the New York Groove
Back in the New York Groove, in the New York Groove

In the back of my Cadillac
A wicked lady, sittin' by my side, sayin' 'Where are we?'
Stop at Third and Forty-three, exit to the night
It's gonna be ecstacy, this place was meant for me

Feels so good tonight, who cares about tomorrow
So baby, you'd better believe

I'm back, back in the New York Groove
I'm back, back in the New York Groove
I'm back, back in the New York Groove
Back in the New York Groove, in the New York Groove

O'Child

This one goes out to a friend of mine. God wants to tell you this:

I want to come closer
But you are so distant
Lately your thoughts are so far
And I want to show you all that you're missing
I'll meet you right where you are

Oh love, I've always known you
Oh love, you've always been mine
Oh love, I'm only asking you for your life

Say that you need me
I know what you're feeling
You cannot do this alone
I gave my word and I gave you my life
So you'll never be on your own

Oh love, I've always known you
Oh love, you've always been mine
Oh love, I'm only asking you for your life

Is this what you wanted?
Is this what you needed?
(You're waiting for this life to be what you've been waiting for...)

Oh love, I've always known you
Oh love, you've always been mine
Oh love, I'm only asking you for your life
Oh love, I've always known you
Oh love, you've always been mine
Oh child, I'm only asking you for your life

Matt. 5:38-42

38"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' 39But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

So this has really been speaking to me lately. I remember the discusion we had in Bible lit about it. How "if someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles." We talked about how Jesus didnt want us giving into our anger. In those days the Romans could make a jew carry the soldiers items for one mile, that was the law. But Jesus told them to surprise the Romans and carry it two miles. I have noticed in myself if we do this, when someone asks us to do something and instead of geting angry, we just do it and a lil extra. And when we do we get so much more in return.

The other day I was supost to do the dishes and hadnt so I told to do them. And then a few hours later after dinner there was a huge mess again that I knew I WOULD have to clean up the next day. And I was told I couldnt get on the computer that night either so I was pretty ticked. But instead of complaining about it forever I decided to clean the kitchen up that nite so the next day i wouldnt have to. And it only took but 5 mins but it made a huge difference. I could feel God in me telling me i did the right thing and that we need to control the anger, not let it control us.

When people want things from us its usaly so they can have power over us. But when we walk the extra mile on our own it takes that power away from them. It shows that we have power over them and arnt letting it get to our head. Theres no fun in revenge when its accepted openly with a good heart. Instead of showing people that they cant mess with us by beating them up or hurting them we can show them that its no fun to mess with us cuz we will do what ever they ask.

So that was just some thoughts that have been on my head for the week..when u get grounded you tend to have alot more free time to think about things and really see how it works.

Vote!

Opinion Polls & Market Research

What A Sucker

So i did have something really deep to say tonite but then i started working on my website and talking to people and i guess just dont care anymore cuz really its just sad things so this way i dont have to be all emo sad. So instead im just gonna call myself a sucker.

You saw me comin', you had my number
But you don't want me, could you be dumber
Your eyes are flashin', your lips are willing
But I'm a patsy for the killing
You're so beautiful, so unforgettable
You think that I'd do most anything

Love is for dreamers, love is for believers
Love is for losers, love
Is for suckers
Love is for suckers, love is for suckers

Listen, I'm not some poor fool, won't jump through your hoop
Ain't gonna crawl, girl, to that I won't stoop
So if you want me, you'll have to get me
And if you're willing I'll be ready
You're so beautiful, so unforgettable
To me that just don't mean anything

Listen, well, well, well, if it isn't little miss perfect
And to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?
You wanna get back together? You do, huh?
Well, listen honey, I'm just not interested
You'll what? You will? With your heels on?
Oh no, come on, babe, let's go
Here I go again


You're so beautiful, so unforgettable
You know that I'll do most anything


Listen, love is for suckers, love is for suckers
Sucker fight me, sucker fight you (love is for suckers)
Always be suckers and do most anything
I wanna be a sucker (love is for suckers)
I'm a sucker, you're a sucker
He's a sucker, she's a sucker (love is for suckers)
Would you like to be a sucker, to be sucker?
Love is for suckers, yeah, yeah
Sucker

Amazing Day

She's got me dizzy, she sees me through to the end
She's got me in her hands and there's no use in pretending
Christine sixteen, Christine sixteen

She drives me crazy, I want to give her all I've got
And she's hot every day and night, there is no doubt about it

Christine sixteen, Christine sixteen

"I don't usually say things like this to girls your age, but when I saw you
coming out of the school that day, that day I knew, I knew, I've got to have
you, I've got to have you."

She's' been around, but she's young and clean
I've got to have her, can't live without her, whoo no
Christine sixteen, Christine sixteen

Christine, Christine, sixteen, sixteen
Christine, yeah, yeah
So clean, Christine, sixteen, sixteen
Christine, yeah, Christine, yeah, yeah
Christine, Christine, sixteen, sixteen



So I finaly got a job!!!! Whoes as excited as me?!?! I am now a waiter for Creekside Village Retirment Center!! w()()t. 3 to 4 hours a day, about 5 to 6 days a week. And all hours are near evening so its perfect!

Guitar

So creation Fest got canceled......That killed me.


But then YG will be fun and make up for it

KAAACHUUUMM!!!

Hush

I got a certan little girl shes on my mind
No doubt about it she looks so fine
Shes the best girl that I ever had
Sometimes shes gonna make me feel so bad

Hush, hush
I thought I heard her calling my name now
Hush, hush
She broke my heart but I love her just the same now
Hush, hush
Thought I heard her calling my name now
Hush, hush
I need her loving and Im not to blame now

(love, love)
They got it early in the morning
(love, love)
They got it late in the evening
(love, love)
Well, I want that, need it
(love, love)
Oh, I gotta gotta have it

Shes got loving like quicksand
Only took one touch of her hand
To blow my mind and Im in so deep
That I cant eat and I cant sleep

So Awesome

xxxxxxxxxx: she deserves you
xxxxxxxxxx: and you deserve her

That made my nite.

Dont Worry

Take these hands and lift them up
For I have not the strength to praise You near enough
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

"Yeah. But since when does anyone have a clue about what they want?

xxxxxxxxx: i really don't trust do i?
Starbearer POH: no
Starbearer POH: just dont worry
Starbearer POH: God has something instore
Starbearer POH: no matter what it is
Starbearer POH: its worth the pain and trouble
Starbearer POH: look at Job

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways adknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

Pretty True

Being the one is just like being in love, no one can tell you that your in love, you just know it. Through and through. Balls to bone.

~Matrix

Escilators..

So my knee hurts alot...and I think i might have learned my lesson....but i will probly do it again haha!!


Town houses are accualy sorta sweet. They look messed up on the outside but if you get one of the tree story ones they are awesome. I now want to move so i can have a new house....and be forced to drive!

PUMP ME UP!

Im getting pumped for the Parade morrow, are you?!?!

Listining to rock always gets me pretty pumped. Its good stuff

I miss you.

I want you back in my life, k?




And I miss her too....but I can wait till I start dreamin

Tonite

So running is fun, you all should do it!

Jesse needs to learn how to keep his pants on while we're in mindy's car....cuz next time you wont be so lucky where you have your dq pants in the back there with you and i wont give yours back.

ANYWAYS fun times today. I love by buds, they make me laugh and smile and be crazy with them. The belts and butts were amazing guys

This Time It Was Me

Saw your gorgeous brown eyes and I knew you'd be mine

There's no other I could have wanted

You were my angel sent from heaven

And I'll never want to leave your side

I met you at church camp and

Your shirt was longer then your shorts.

You had a sunburn

But really I just made you blush!

Couldn’t stop thinking about you, no

There was nothing more I have ever needed

You in my arms is where we belong

So come here baby, please hold me tight

I met you at church camp and

Your shirt was longer then your shorts.

You had a sunburn

But really I just made you blush!

Your all I could want

Your all I could need

So come here baby,

Please hold me tight

One look at me and you knew I would be yours

You always get what you really really want

So this time that was me

So this time that was me

Your all I could want

Your all I could need

So come here baby,

Please hold me tight

I met you at church camp and

Your shirt was longer then your shorts.

You had a sunburn

But really I just made you blush!

One look at me and you knew I would be yours

You always get what you really really want

So this time that was me

So this time that was me

This Time It Was Me

Writin and Composed By Indy Elwood ©

I am now a man

So today was alot of things. Most of it was great, i was rocking out soo much but then i had a meeting which got me sorta sad. Then i had band practice which i was stressing over a lil cuz it was my first night being in charge...and i heard things but owell. Enough about that part of the day.

The real fun started after YG!! Me and mindy drove zack and kristin to his house. Then me and mindy picked up American Woman and had fun with her. Then mindy was mindy and i love her for it and my nite ended the best way it ever could have!!

Psalms 119:7

Indy has big guns, like the transformers who weigh tons.
He has unbelievable hair, and all the guys dont seem to care.
They have metal lungs, he has steal buns.
None of the chicks thinks its fair, so they all glare.

Transform and roll out, all the guys see him and pout.
The decepticons stole lexy, all the girls try to steal his sexy.
While all the autobots mount, there is no doubt

A win without gory, and hes not whory.

And while this poem goes through my head I NEVER STOP PRAISING YOU LORD FOR MAKING ME THE WAY I AM!!!!!!

if there was anyway to describe my day
i couldn't come up with it anyway
cause i'm speechless
i'm just so breathless
when i'm there in your arms.

fingers through your hair
we've gone past simplicity
but gosh, i just dont care
its this amazing feeling that i feel
everything with you is real.

if there was something i should say
i couldn't, cause you take my breath away
you surprise me
with everything you do
I could just fall forever into you.

My Transformer Poem

Indy has big guns, like the transformers who weigh tons.
He has unbelievable hair, and all the guys dont seem to care.
They have metal lungs, he has steal buns.
None of the chicks thinks its fair, so they all glare.

Transform and roll out, all the guys see him and pout.
The decepticons stole lexy, all the girls try to steal his sexy.
While all the autobots mount, there is no doubt
A win without gory, and hes not whory.

Psycho Circus

I, I've been waiting here to be your guide
So come
Reveal the secrets that you keep inside
Step up!
No one leaves 'til the night is done
The amplifier starts to hum
The carnival has just begun.

I love this song but don't listen to it very often...I dont know why that is. I find some of the words soo awesome. Like right there, if we step up to the plate and let God be our guide then the fun will begin(carnivals are usaly fun). Iono i just love this song, great music!

Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Today has been frusterating. You have no idea. I somehow got stuck in the middle of something...it was probly my fault owell. And now i have to try to continue my happy-go-lucky mood that ive had for a few days now. I should be happy, ive finaly got what I asked for, God came through. What else more should I want??? Only a God like you....

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" this verse has helped me alot today. I really want to forget those things Lord.

Im sorry about all the posts today...I just cant stop thinking how great God is, how great life is, how great everything is. My savior loves, my savior live, my saviors always there for me. My GOD he was, my GOD he is, my GOD is always gonna be!

I cant stop praising HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

I promise

Thank you Lord!!

I'm diving in, I'm going deep, in over my head I want to be
Caught in the rush, lost in the flow, in over my head I want to go
The river's deep, the river's wide, the river's water is alive
So sink or swim, I'm diving in

So this is still stuck in my head and I love it. I still cant believe how awesome it was that God let me dive in and work things out. I have never really been this happy for this long! Things are just like BAM Indy this is what you wanted so here it is, everything that you could want. God gave me an awesome oppertunity to work towards becoming a worship pastor! He is giving me all these awesome friends and people to help keep me thinking straight. He is just plain amazing.

Moral of the story, If you truly seek God and work for him he WILL blesse you!!!

Only If

Oh know, that girl, she's lookin' so fine
I know she knows ,what she's doin' to my mind
Ooh, does she know that I'm wanting her so
Well, there's one thing I know, I can never let her go

So cool, no fool, she's headin' for me
Can't run, can't hide, she's in everything I see
Ooh, what will I say, should I pass, should I play
But my feet turn to clay 'cause she's blowin' me away

This made me laugh soo hard

"How can santa be asian? He doesnt drive his sleed 20 miles under the speed limit with his blinker on!"

family guy of course

Lets Go Back

So tell me what you are and
I’ll tell you you’re so much more than
Anything you thought that you could be/
(So tell me now, tell me anything)

I had this stuck in my head but i had a twisted verse that went more like this:

So tell me what you want and
I'll tell you so much more than
You could ever need

Something like that, but it was because i felt that God was telling me all these things and working with me because i asked him. I felt that he was coming through for me because i DID go to him with a true heart and was thinking with the right brain. And he came trough for me....atleast i sure think so!!

"You will be able to tell when you start to remember things they told you" ~Sammy

Oh trust me, I am remembering alot of things but I dont know why...I just am I guess. I really like that quote and I believe it 100%. Sammy you are one smart girl!

My Savior!!

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

I have no idea what God has in store for me, never have and never will. All i know is that God put an apple in my lap for some reason. That God put me and mindy together tonite and some how i realize even more things that hes done. That God is always in control.

Someone said something tonite that really got me confused and mad, right when they were leaving too. I didnt really understand it and i didnt really want to anymore. I just knew that God was doing something for some dumb reason. Nothing could ruin this day, they tried but failed!!

CAMP!

So today was the final day, which is sad. But it brought many many memories. Fun times that I wont forget for a few months, haha. It was just a great day...nothing in the world could make me sad. Like really, soooo happy right now. The cramp in my leg does hurt still though...but it was worth getting ;) Im sorry Miss Elaineous, this week has showed me what Gods been trying to for the past year. And for you, American Woman, I guess we'll just have to see how things work out. Hehehe

Sink or Swim

I'm diving in, I'm going deep, in over my head I want to be
Caught in the rush, lost in the flow, in over my head I want to go
The river's deep, the river's wide, the river's water is alive
So sink or swim, I'm diving in

So that is the theme song for this years venture camp. I never really payed much attention to it till tonite. I was reading and i noticed that thats what i've been wanting with God. I just wanted to be in a place where i was surounded by God and I would have to look to him for help. AND i have been!!! Its awesome. I mean sure its not the best thing to be asking God for help on, but still. I feel like even when most of my friends that I would think I could turn to leave me, I still have someone to help, to guide me on my way. I just wish this week could never end. And it kills me to know that morrow is the last day.....I WISH I COULD GET STUCK IN THIS RIVER FOREVER!!! But maybe since its so deep and wide i can. God please don't let this crazy ride end.

Lets Go Back Now

so i've finaly made up my mind and im gonna talk to Miss Elaineous tonite and see what the situation is. I dont want to waste the last day at camp, even though in no way would it be a waste cuz i would be showing all these kids the love of the Messiah. Make or break!

Fits Well

She's got me dizzy, she sees me through to the end
She's got me in her hands and there's no use in pretending
Christine sixteen, Christine sixteen

She drives me crazy, I want to give her all I've got
And she's hot every day and night, there is no doubt about it

Christine sixteen, Christine sixteen

"I don't usually say things like this to girls your age, but when I saw you
coming out of the school that day, that day I knew, I knew, I've got to have
you, I've got to have you."

She's' been around, but she's young and clean
I've got to have her, can't live without her, whoo no
Christine sixteen, Christine sixteen

Christine, Christine, sixteen, sixteen
Christine, yeah, yeah
So clean, Christine, sixteen, sixteen
Christine, yeah, Christine, yeah, yeah

The Beauty of Venture Camp

Its never VC without drama....but I think im ok with this years. I think things are working themselves out. Miss Elaineous though, i think she isnt too happy with me, but thats ok. I gues i will just have to wait and see what morrow has in store. It will be great. I cant wait to be with her/him/them/her.

All I got to say is...

DANNNGGG!!!

Screw you Miss Elaineous, God's told me today what to do.

100...And still more to say

You called me strong, you called me weak
But your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I
Never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head, if
Not for me then you would be dead
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well will you be
There holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my
Superhuman might
Kryptonite

pretty strong words huh? I believe they fit you well though. And you were right. I am a people pleaser. I just want the people im with to be happy about me, dont want them to be mad or w/e but they all seem to end up that way. If i would stand up for what i believe then who knows what could happen, i could be such a better person probly. I feel like i pour out my soul to you. I feel like i try so hard to make you happy just so i can have a "thank" or "your rad" but i never really get one. Theres just something about you that makes me want to please you. And specialy when your not feeling good, i feel like i need to go talk to you or be there for you...why though? It never changes anything...maybe makes u a lil happy but you never like me anymore. You never think of my any higher then you already do. I always believed that you and me were ment to be together, iono why. There was always just something about you. For over a year and a half ive tried so hard for you to feel the same, but it only seems to drive you away. And then the little hope i have inside me telling me after college that i might have a better chance, that things will be better for everyone. Then i have people telling me to just move on, that it will never be. And i dont know who to trust. I dont want to wait for you when i could miss some other really amazing person. But i dont want to pass you by.....i dont want to get impaitent. I pray to God over and over to give me the answer, to tell me what to do and i just dont know where that answer is, if its the one in me or the one that friends consently tell me or if its just do what i want.

I tried to be perfect, tried to be honest
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted
I tried to be stronger, tried to be smarter
Tried to be everything but you

I wanted you
I need you
I want to believe you
I wanted you
I need you
I want to believe you

I feel like this guy. I feel like ive done everything i could to make you like me. Everything but it never works...thats when i just want to go find someone else cuz why should i go through all this crap just for you? but if your as great as i think then thats why. The prize. The golden pearl. The best person in the world. I only wish you would read this, that you accualy cared right now....maybe though, maybe one day you will see. I know things for you are pretty hard right now, but, heres my famous quote, Dont worry. Gods in control. I know its probly hard to really see it but he is. God is always there and always doing his best for your best. Its just when we mess things up by not letting him do his job that things go trés bad. Laugh, Love, rock n roll all nite AND PARTY EVERYDAY!!

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

When I was talking to you, Miss Elaineous, I had this song stuck in my head. Yes we did just sing it but still. Just how much everyone needs to do it, and how "it won't be long" which really is sad. But really, why dont you just lean on me? You seem so fearful to lean on anyone...and its sad. Ill be your friend. Ill help you, no matter what.

TURN IT UP!!

Turn it up, hungry for the medicine, two fisted to the very end
No more treated like aliens, we're not gonna take it

No lies, no more alibis, turn it up, it's got me hypnotized
Rock on, I won't be tranquilized, 'cos (I love it)


THATS HOW I LIKE MY WEEK, full out LOUD!!!

The Other Side Of The Story

So today was filled with a million different feelings. Feeling of hate, the feeling of love, the feeling of want, the feeling of flirtyness, the feeling of tiredness, the feeling of......anyways. I wasnt too happy today at all. It all started with my hair. Dont touch my hair people. I am so very anal about it. I wanted the sides and back cut cuz it was bugging me so i had my mom do it...then everyone here starts getting involved and was like cut there and here and NO, ITS MINE! Iono i just dont get why people do half the stuff they do. So that really didnt start my day off well.

Then I was told to go to firy to meet jesse which i knew what it ment since today was the day he was gonna hang with someone. And i really didnt want to see that someone. And i knew that that someone was gonna be there. So I went because I didnt want to waste the day sitting around the house doing nothing. I sorta regreat it but owell I did and its over with. I wasnt too happy the moment i left but i cant dwell on it cuz theres no use.

Then i got to hang with Mindy before the Quince which made me happy cuz i always enjoy hanging with mindy. Always makes me smile and accualy think straight. So then we rolled out to the Quince and had fun, or atleast i did. Dancing was great even though i still think i looked like a dork but owell, haha. And i got something i've wanted a long long time and i think that will help me get over you Miss Elaineous.

Then me and mindy had fun. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envie, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust always hopes, always perserves. LOVE NEVER FAILS. So I know what i want now. And i know exactly where i find it. In the moment when i least expect it. In the moment where i am where God has called me to be. In the moment where i NEED her. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways adknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

But one thing I need to realize and I am more and more is that I do love God. I truly want to please him in everything I do. When people ask me things I answer them the way that God tells us. I use the bible so much in my thinking. I want please him so much. I want to have him wrap his arms around me and tell me that I did a good job. But I feel that it is so impossible because I fail so much. My Giant has taken over me!! How did I let that happen?? HOW??? I wish i was a loser...but theres no way that I am close.

One thing that has popped out to me today was the name of my blog, the song from nevertheless, The Real. Its a great song and band(check em). We are the real, the truth is unchanging. Hmm. We are what God wanted us to be. God will never change. His promise is always there with Jesus.

This is who we're meant to be
We are the real, the truth is unchanging
This is the call to hearts that are fadin'

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

Honk Anyone??

I think you know what I’m getting at
I find it so upsetting that
The memories that you select
You keep the bad but the good you just forget

And even though I’m angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
When you peel out and drive away
I can’t believe this happened

And all this time I never thought
That all we had would be all for naught

No, I don’t hate you
Don’t want to fight you
Know I’ll always love you
But right now I just don’t like you
No, I don’t hate you
Don’t want to fight you
Know I’ll always love you
But right now I just don’t like you
Cause you took this too far (too far)

Make your decision and don’t you dare think twice
Go with your instincts along with some bad advice
This didn’t turn out the way I thought it would at all
You blame me but some of this is still your fault

I tried to move you, but you just wouldn’t budge
I tried to hold your hand but you’d rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I’m getting at
You said goodbye and I just don’t want you regretting that


No, I don’t hate you
Don’t want to fight you
Know I’ll always love you
But right now I just don’t like you
No, I don’t hate you
Don’t want to fight you
Know I’ll always love you
But right now I just don’t like you
Cause you took this too far (too far)

And wisdom always chooses
These black eyes and these bruises
Over the heartache that they say
Never completely goes away
(I just can’t believe this happened and one day we’ll see this come around)
And wisdom always chooses
These black eyes and these bruises
Over the heartache that they say
Never completely goes away

No, I don’t hate you
Don’t want to fight you
Know I’ll always love you
But right now I just don’t like you
No, I don’t hate you
Don’t want to fight you
Know I’ll always love you
But right now I just don’t like you
Cause you took this too far (too far)

What happened to us
I heard that it’s me we should blame
What happened to us
Why didn’t you stop me from turnin out this way
And know that I don’t hate you
And know that I Don’t want to fight you
And know I’ll always love you
But right now I just don’t…

Unforgetful You

So its funny how right you have been on alot of things mister M P. You first told me that I wouldnt be a lawyer and you were right about that. Then you told me that it wouldn't work because of things and you were so right. I guess i just didnt want to believe you because I thought I knew best....my bad! I guess from now on I should trust my elders a little more...cuz really, it takes soo much more time when I dont.

I never minded calling You a king
If that meant that I could count on You
To give me everything
I never thought to ask You
I always thought You knew
It was never my intention to question You

You never minded calling me a child
Well, I guess that's how I acted all the while
But You live through every tantrum
You see through every lie
Though they seem to be more common
I just wanted to know why oh why

(ah,ah,ah,ah)
Unforgetful You
(ah,ah,ah,ah)
Unforgetful
(ah,ah,ah,ah)
Unforgetful You
(ah,ah,ah,ah)
So unforgetful

(I want to know why)

You never minded giving us the stars
Then showing us how blind and unaware of You we are
You painted me a picture and showed me how to see
Though I won't behold it
Unless it pertains to me

I Wish I Could Say

You, you thought you had enough
Because is got a little hard
It wouldn't go away
Did you think
You could do it yourself
Wish I knew what to say
It seems you need a little help

I wish I could say everything's all right
It'll be ok, and I'll be fine
It'll be ok, its just a phase

I, I know I'm not perfect
I know sometimes it's hard
To come up strong
So maybe we, we can work it out
To do our best to give a little help

So maybe we, we can work it out
To do our best to give a little help
Only God can say everything's all right
It'll be ok, and I'll be fine
It'll be ok, its just a phase

Only God can say everything's all right
It'll be ok, and he won't lie to you
I know your hurting, It'll be ok
It'll be ok

Ici

il n'y a rien dire

Well Golly

So its one thing when your in the situation and you want something out of it but its another when you are waiting to see if someone else is about do make that same dumb mistake. But yet theres the feeling that I would still make it....qu'est-ce que je fais, Dieu? je veux elle faire et elle aimer mais j'ai peur que je ferai des problemes et je ne aurai pas ma petite

What a day

Today was a good day. Got to work on the basement alot which needed it and Mindy was kind enough to help push me want to. So that got alot done. Then had time with Angela so its all good. Yummy dinner!!! I love that yoshitas sauce, ill have to find out where to get some!

HES THE BEST!!!!

Re: MORE

So i decided that i will learn this on the guitar, atleast as much as i can this summer. It is totaly awesome and rad and i can do it!

Today...Sucked

Today was a frusterating day, it started by getting woke up at 8 to sit around for an hour because i had to help load stuff into my uncle's trailer but they didnt know when he was gonna come so they were like "hey get up now..." SO then i ran off to church late which was what i was trying to avoid and then once i got there someone did sorta get mad at me for being late but instead of arguing it and being like HA I HAD A GOOD REASON i just let it go...no biggy really.

Church was fun, doing the kids. Then got to hang wit Mindy for a while, that was cool. Shes cool. Then got home and everyone was working so i was like oh crap but i was able to go in and get on my comp for a good 10 mins before i got called out....then i was pissy the whole time because i was in the middle of something and really didnt get why they were cutting the bush that was on THE OTHER side of the fence.....like really i understand some sure, but do you have to kill the whole friggen thing?? But i got lucky and had unicycle practice which was fun, decorated mine so it will look awesome for the 4th parade.

Then i finaly got to finish what i had been wanting to and got some practice in which made me happy again. But i made the mistake of going with my parents to get the dog from the vet(long story...he has some infection in his eye...) and on the way there, they decide to look at apartments/townhouses. BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER. I went another time and i hated it so if i had known they were gonna look i woulda stayed home. They always argue and fight and then cant drive and gah i hate being around it. Got the dog and i was ready to go but then we had to stop by the store so i was sitting in the back seat with a dog drowling blood...fun stuff right there. FINALY got home and then took off as fast as i could.

Me and Angela hung at fir grove park, had some fun with her airsoft pistol then out of no where my brother wips around in his jeep with his gang, they jump out and come up to us. I had a feeling that travis might try to pull something on me so i was debating making the first move or not but since we were by a street i wasnt going to. Then he walks up, starts to talk some then shoots me. So i jump up and pull out the gun i had in my pocket and shoot at him and then zack kristin and kelsey are like what?? Where did he get that?? Which made me giggle a little, that this time i was prepared for Travis's meanness. I failed to hit him though when he hit me pretty good.

Then we all went to highland park and play some football more or less. It was a fun time. Id do it again.

Pourqoui moi Dieu?

je si les deteste. je veux aller quelquepart mais ils sont mechant et ils ont m'aller avec. GRRR. maintenant ils me disent que enfant "support" est cher.....comme j'elle ferrais. JE VEUX LES MOURIR!!!