Dream On

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter and sing for the tears
Sing with me, if its just for today

Everytime that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face gettin clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dust to dawn
Isnt that the way
Everybodys got their dues in life to pay

I know what nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know its everybodys sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life is in books written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages
You know its true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if its just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away

Dream on, dream on
Dream yourself a dream come true
Dream on, dream on
Dream until your dream come true
Dream on, dream on, dream on...

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter and sing for the tears
Sing with me, if its just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away

But I wanted to change the world...

how do we change the world, by one Act of Random Kindness at a time.

Friends Will Be Friends..

So I sat here tonight chilling, listening to music and I saw a bullitin on myspace that an old friend that I saw a few days ago posted so I wanted to see what was going on with her. I was looking at her pics and I was just amazing. They looked nothing like I remembered. I was too afraid to send them a message saying hey whats up because I didnt want to lose the image I had of them, I didnt want to think of them differently by hearing what they had to say. I already had that happen with a different friend and he changed drasticly. These people, I dont see how tehy can be so different. Or atleast of they send an image of being so different. Got me thinking of if they saw me what they would think. Would they go, "wow he has changed" or would they say "he looks different but hes the same Indy I knew"? Gets me thinking is all. Gets me scared that they have lost what they had. Thats also why I dont want to talk to them because thats the one thing on my mind when Im talking to them and they know it and if its not what I want they must not want to talk to me. I just want to yell at them until they go OHHH Indy your right...what have I been doing? I want to shake them so they will see what they are doing and what they will turn out to be if they continue. Its so frusterating because they are just that type of person. They are the person that would lose what gave them the twinkle in their eye. And all I can do is sit back and watch them lose everything they once had because I'm scared of losing the thought of them I'm happy with. And I feel that my lil chat with them for 10 mins wont make a difference whats so ever, that they will go "oh Indy, when will you get off my back?" It just makes me hurt on the inside...

Forgiveness

"There is a slutbag and whoretasticness too!!!"

As I sit here and read this I see whats so wrong about it. I feel like crap for what is says. Just how one person could really think this about two of his closest, or seemed to be closest, friends. But what feels worse is the thought that I put both of those words in his mouth. We all know that everyone thinks I'm a man-whore, so that part is pretty clear. Is this all it is? Some high school friends that after we graduate we wont have to "deal" with anymore? That we are just putting up with each other until then? Maybe I'm just crazy but I had the idea of still being friends with all of you after hs. I never intended of letting go. From now on, I'm gonna stand up for each and everyone of my friends, because they are my friends. Im not gonna let each other push them around and I want anyone who thinks I am doing so to tell me so I can stop. I'm sorry guys for letting you all down. I'm sorry that everyone just thinks our friendships are one big joke. Its my fault really.

Im forgiven, because you were forsaken
Im accepted, you were condemed
im alive and well, your spirit is within me
because you died and rose again

Sorry..

In this farewell,
There is no blood,
There is no alibi,
Cause I've drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousands lies,
So let mercy come and wash away

What I've Done,
I'll face myself,
To cross out what I've become,
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done

Put to rest,
What you thought of me
While, I clean this slate,
With the hands,
Of uncertainty,
So let mercy come,
And wash away

What I've Done,
I'll face myself,
To cross out what I've become,
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done

For what I've done,
I start again,
And whatever pain may come,
Today this ends,
I'm forgiving what I've done

I'll face myself,
To cross out what I've become,
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done

(Na,Na,Na)

What I've Done,

ENCORE Les Gens Stupide

wow so you guys have slumped to an all time low. "bahahahhahahahahha. What did one obnoxious French wannabe say to the other one? "Oh, Indy is a fantastic name!" "

Who ever that was, you are a jerk. Like I mean it, wow. Why would you do something like that? Were just bored and wanted to piss me off? How can you think of yourself as a good person while your doing something like that?

Again, Les Gen Stupide

so guys...dont ever leave me comments in french unless you accualy speak it because I can tell when you use a translater, and it looks like crap. Just say it in english, dont try to apply yourself to my "needs" by doing it in french. You will still be read an understood if in english.

A precious little girl stood outside her parent's door
She could not understand why they fought so much and swore
She closed her eyes and prayed, she asked for something more
She asked the Lord, "What's life worth living for?"
A single little tear, fell from her eye
And then the Lord replied, "This is why."
"You're my little girl, you're the apple of My eye."
"Come to Me my child, My arms are open wide."

A child's cry
A child's cry for her Father
A child's cry
A child's cry

A tiny little boy on the street all alone
He had no one to love, no place he called his home
He fell to his knees, only one thing he asked for
He asked not for the world, just an open door
And as he knelt in prayer, he looked up to see
A hand open to him, the hand of King
The Lord cried, "You're my little boy, you're the child whom I adore."
"One day you'll be with me, with me forevermore."

A child's cry
A child's cry for his father
A child's cry
A child's cry

I am on my knees, tears roll down my face
I ask my Father for, mercy and grace
I never thought someone could love me this much
That all changed when I felt my Father's touch

Im here Lord, on my knees praying and crying out for you. All I want is you.

Les Gens Stupide

AHHHH Je te deteste, mes emotions! Pourquoi es-tu si enervant? oui, tu es. Je ne sais pas qui faire. J'ai écrasé, tué et blessé. Personne ne me veut, elles viennent de vouloir aider. Et elles ne me rendent rien mais leurs affairs. JE VOUS DETESTE TOUT.

Her

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

[Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head ]

How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
but No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real?
So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
contaminating everything
We thought came from the heart
But never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(Null and void instead of voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just different from what you've seen

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever

But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah ah

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah ah
And its's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah yeah

Oh when the stars
Oh when the stars they lie.

I really am nothing

Take these hands, and lift them up
for I have not the strength to praise you near enough
I have nothing, I have nothing without you

Take my voice, and pour it out
let it sing the songs of mercy i have found
for i have nothing, i have nothing without you

all my soul needs, all your love to cover me
so all the world will see
i have nothing without you

take my body, build it up
it be broken as an offering as love
for i am nothing, i am nothing without you

with all my heart
with all my soul
with all my, my heart
and all the strength i can find

and take my time, on this earth
let it glorify all that you are worth
i am nothing, i am nothing without you.


I am here, and I’m with You now
And I didn’t think I could feel this way
I am here and I’m with You now
Because You found me somehow

I can be the one tonight
When everything seems out of sight
I will follow You with all my life
I can be the one tonight

Jesus, You are the one that makes me smile
over and over again
I am here and I’m with You now
I want to hear You somehow

I can be the one tonight
When everything seems out of sight
I will follow You with all my life
I can be the one tonight


I know that you
You were busy living your own life
I can't make you make you give me all of your time
I wish it could be like it was yesterday
I think that it stinks that these stupid problems got in the way

So let's go back now
To the times that were fun
So sick of the lies that someone else's mind has won

I don't care what they think
I don't care who all cares
I just don't want you to leave

So tell me what you are and
I'll tell you you're so much more than Anything you thought that you could be
And tell me what you are
And I'll tell you you're so much more than anything you thought that you could be

So can you call on me too sometime tonight
I don't care what we do
We can get in a fight
I'm so tired of living in this small enclosed space(?)
So let me out we'll have fun
I'll let you let me make the plans

Why are we waiting for someone else to tell us how it should be
I've already found it and God didn't tell me to waste these dreams (to waste these dreams)

So tell me what you are and
I'll tell you you're so much more than Anything you thought that you could be
And tell me what you are
And I'll tell you you're so much more than anything you thought that you could be

I see you trying so hard to run the race to the finish line
But all this stuff keeps getting in the way

The one thing my heart knows...

Sometimes I feel
Like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I drive on her streets
'Cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills
'Cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie

I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way

It's hard to believe
That there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe
That I'm all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

EXIT

So the other day in Pre Cal I was thinking, what would be a good band name? What I came up with was EXIT. So I looked it up to see if the name was taken and I didnt find anything. So then I copyrighted the name, hehe.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EXIT_(band)

It's mine.

Jazz

It was awesome. I feel like we rocked the place haha jk. We did pretty good. I cant wait for new songs though. Made me think of how it would be for me and what I wanna do. Just being on that stage, feeling my guitar in my fingers. Knowing that someday that it will be my home, and I will have thousands of guests every night looking to God.

HEY GUESS WHAT GUYS!!

Morrow is my Jazz concert and it would mean alot if any and all of you could make it. It starts at 7.30 morrow night and there are 4 combos then the jazz band, so it will be really good, dont worry. If you need anymore info email me ASAP lol. Oh and its at BHS in the auditorium...I guess that could be helpful

Mes Cher Copains ou Mes Pauvre Copains

Jésus, pourqoui est-ce qu'ils le font? mes copains, mes cher copains! Ils essaient me tuer. Ils me detestent. J'essaie eux aimer mais non, ils vont et me faire aussi rien. J'ai fatigue de eux aider, de eux donner ma éspoire. je eux dis etre bon mais non, ils sont méchant, toujours. JE LE DETESTE QUAND ILS CE FONT

Ici-git mon coeur

Dieu, pourqoui est-ce que quand je donne mon coeur a quelque chose, je fais mal? Je le deteste quand j'essaie faire quelque chose mais quelque chose se passe et je ne peux pas. Je donne trop de mais je ne le rends rien. Je prie pour ton aide, je fais toujours...Je pense que j'ai besoin de un fille qui m'aimera et sera genial. S'il vous plait donnez-moi une réponse trés vits. Tu es mon éspoir seul. Marci Dieu.

Yes

I am very proud of myself too. I am very loved. I cant wait to show you what else I got up my sleeve, only to make you more proud

I told you all I was gonna win, gosh. haha je t'aime, tu me manques aussi. tu me manqueras, tu es mon bijoux, tellement beau et perfect.

Xmas...Not for me

So Christmas time is here. Yeeeaaaahhh. Now this is the time where everyone goes, "So christmas really isnt about the gifts or about spending time with your loved ones to me but it is about Jesus. All the other stuff is just what people add to it.." To tell you the truth..I HATE it when people say stuff like that, because I feel like they are a huge hypocreate. We all know for the most part what Christmas is really about. We all go to church for the month of December and every year we all learn what Christmas is really about.
As hard as we might try to tell our selves its not about the gifts, it is. I mean come on, its the day after thanksgiving and everyone is at stores buying crap for christmas. While buying that do they think, OMOGSH Jesus' b-day is in a month!! or do they go oh, xmas is soon, I need to get shopping done. And the stores, do they starts decorating the week after halloween because they want to have a big birthday bash for Jesus or because it will make people start buying stuff earlier.

Now this is the part where I go off about how its different for me right? well ok I can try...

Christmas to me...hmm..ok, what christmas to me is a time of relaxation. No school for two weeks, pretty sweet huh? Its a time where I try to think about God more but usaly dont because well I'm human. But I dont do the whole gift thing, to tell the truth I dont care about it one bit. I mean sure its nice to get stuff but growing up in a family where money is tight and you know it, I have grown to not expect anything. People always ask me what I want for christmas and I really dont want anything. I dont wanna sit there and fanisize about all this crap that I really dont need but would like just for the heck of it. In all honesty, I am completly satisfied if my family gets a xmas tree. Other than that, what more is there to want? I mean, I know that God is around and I know that my friends love me...

...and I feel like I almost hate Christmas. I hate how people get around the this time. Feel so fake. And I hate how much the Jesus story is done, I know I know, its his moment, but its just like wow, you told the same thing for the past 4 weeks but in 4 different ways..iono. Im sorry if I sound horrible but Im not gonna lie about it.

So that was my little rant for all of you. Hope it spoke to you somehow...

"Music and pretty girls"

Wow. So for the past hour or so Ive just been looking at Guitar Center's web page and looking at a whole lot of random crap that it would be awesome to have some day, like lighting stuff and guitar pedals. And while doing that I also was helping Baigal do a cross word puzzle, so she would give me a word and the number of letters and I would type it into answers.com and try to find the word that meant the same thing. It was alot of fun. I love music stuff and I love pretty girls, lol. But anyways, pretty awesome looking at stuff on their page, found some good cheap stuff for the YG that is on our list so deff will check more into that.

YAY

Slow Ride

Ever since I heard and played this song on Guitar Hero 3, its been stuck in my head. I love the bass riffs and stuff, its soo amazing. So today after school I hit play and cranked my guitar and started playing alone and its soo awesome!!!! Then I got called into work so the whole time it was stuck in my head and I was almost dancing around to it, hehe. Like every time I would go to take dishes to the back I would be like dancing lol. Great song.

Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy,
Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy.

I'm in the mood, the rhythm is right,
Move to the music, we can roll all night.
Oooh, oooh, slow ride - oooh, oooh ...

Slow ride, take it easy
Slow ride, take it easy

Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy
Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin' one more time
Hold me, roll me, slow ridin' woman you're so fine

{Rod and Dave riffs}
Woo!

I'm in the mood, the rhythm is right,
Move to the music yea, we can roll all night, yea.
Oooh, oooh ...

Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy
Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin' one more time
Hold me, roll me, slow ridin' woman you're so fine

(Slow ride, easy, slow ride, sleazy - Slow ride, easy, slow ride, sleazy)

Piano

So I'm, more or less, teaching myself how to play the piano. Katie sorta tried to tell me how but it didnt really work so Im just doing it myself lol. But so far Ive almost got this one song, thats not a lil kiddy one, down and its awesome. And it helps alot really with guitar and stuff since I know more about the roots or whatever. So thats been going on lately. Im doing good and starting to learn chords too hehe.

Re:

I am so gonna win.

let songs of joys fill the earth.
Your praises echo everythwhere
from oceans deep to the sky
let all things praise you Lord most high

Let all living things
praise you with one voice,
we will resonate,
resonate your glory

Be Happy

Isn't it great the things we do for other?

Tant pis...je quite, tu peux l'avoir. Je ne veux pas les mauvaise goods

I am so gonna win.

Yes

cuz everytime I look at you
no matter what I'm going through, its easy to see
everytime I hold you, the things I never told you
seem to come easily...
...cuz your everything to me
...everything to me
...everything to me.

I just feel like everything is falling apart, that everything is coming down on me. I make one decision that I think is a good one, and everything changes and nothing seems real. All the memories come back to haunt me and all the things I said. But what hurts more is thinking of all the things I never said, how I feel changes like every day and people need to know that...sure Im bipolar..thats obveous.

WOW GUYS

You suck. I dont get how all of you focused in on the whole girl thing but totaly ignored the part about the YG and what not. GO BACK and read it AGAIN.

Then we'll talk. Girls are girls but the YG is something more important

The Story Of The WIller

I feel...not hopeless but around that area. At this moment I just feel that there isnt anything I can really do about how I am feeling. I feel very jelous of people and their relationships with others, if they are BF and GF or not. I feel like I have to wait because thats the rules, but I dont want to. I want to just tell her how I feel. I want to be able to hold her.

Then there is what I feel God wants. I feel like he is telling me to hold off just a little to make sure that the feelings I have and have had for the past month or so are real. I feel that He is telling me that there is someone great out there and he doesn't want me to miss them because I was getting my feelings mixed up. That I was looking in all the wrong places for that girl. Instead of looking at just "one night stands" i should be looking at someone I would care about for a while atleast. Hes telling me that the last one didnt work out so great cuz it was focused on the wrong idea and started in a bad way.

Then God is telling me to have Patience and Devotion. To stick it out because no one else will and it will show that I truly do care about everything that is going on and as hard as I try to seem that I am not involved that I am in the center of it all because of that choice to never ever leave until I have to for college or purposes like that. Not because of something I think. A cake has milk, eggs, butter, flour and sugar in it for a reason. And all because the flour thinks it doesn't fit in doesn't give it the right to just leave when it was willed to be in that cake. Because the flour left and how the cake now seems to look, the sugar leaves and then following it the butter does. Now even though the cake was willed to be a cake with all those ingredients, because they were so greedy and did not think of the cake as a whole, it seems ruined. But because of the greatness of the willer, instead of a cake you have a morning breakfast, Eggs and Milk! Then once the ingredients that left see how great it turned out, even though it wasn't a cake, they wish they had been able to be used like the milk and eggs. They wish that the willer had used them in suck an amazing way but because of their own evil and sin, they ruined that chance. And even though evil and sin ruined a cake, the willer was able to turn it into something good.

I Just Wanna

I got a body built for sin and an appetite for passion
Yeah I can see the road to ruin and I'm lookin' for some action
I got my finger on the trigger and a match to the fuse
I'll make someone an offer that's too big to refuse
Tired of tryin' to be what I'll never be, baby, you could never see that

I don't want a romance, I don't wanna dance, I just wanna forget you
Time to take my chances, find somebody new
I just wanna for, I just wanna for, I just wanna forget you

I'm gonna set the night on fire, shootin' like a Roman Candle
Ooh yeah, I'm burnin' with desire and I'm much too hot to handle
I'm like a runaway, crazy train, I'm out of control
If you try to put the brakes on, I'm still gonna roll

Tired of tryin' to do what you want me to, baby, I'm just tired of you, yeah

I don't want a romance, I don't wanna dance, I just wanna forget you
Time to take my chances, find somebody new
I just wanna for, I just wanna for, I just wanna for
I just wanna forget you

Wake up, baby, don't you sleep, I can't take this one more week
If I can't go out to play, I can't make it one more day

I wanna play with dynamite, time is right for heavy breathing
Gettin' stone cold crazy till the dawn without a reason
I wanna take me a vacation down a long stretch of track
I'll find a new sensation and I ain't comin' back

Tired of tryin' to be what I'll never be, baby, you could never see that

I don't want a romance, I don't wanna dance
I don't want a romance, or a second chance
I don't want a romance, I don't wanna dance
I just wanna for, I just wanna forget

Fallin

heheheh she said Im cute, that makes me day and weekend!!

WOW Guys

I never knew cleaning could be sooo fun!!!

Victim #1: Kevin Butler

Victim #2: Could be You!

You all will have to tune into the Mindy and Indy Show to see what its all about.

NEVER

This is you, this is me. This is who we're meant to be. We are the real, the truth is unchanging.

So it is, sometimes, that I feel this life is far beyon repair, but I, I know that you are there. Tonite, I wont give u

WOOT

so yet again I am confused about my own wants and needs. But I do have to say that I am feeling God inside me once again and I do not want it to stop! Yay God

ICI

Tu veux me savoir? K, je peux le faire. Je fais mal a la coeur parce que mes copains pensent que je suis bi. Je me tue quand je suis avec eux. Je deteste ou je suis avec Dieu mais je ne peux pas l'en faire quelque chose. J'ai besion de Dieu. JE FAIS! Tant pis oui? tant pis pour moi parce que je suis tres stupide et moche. Je veux me tuer. Je suis un belle fille qui m'aimera. Donnez-moi un Dieu!

Here you go then. Raw Indy

I know that you
You were busy living your own life
I can't make you make you give me all of your time
I wish it could be like it was yesterday
I think that it stinks that these stupid problems got in the way

I don't care what they think
I don't care who all cares
I just don't want you to leave

So tell me what you are and
I'll tell you you're so much more than Anything you thought that you could be
And tell me what you are
And I'll tell you you're so much more than anything you thought that you could be

So get your car, I'll meet you sometime tonight
I don't care what we do
We can get in a fight
I'm so tired of living in this small enclosed campus
So let me out we'll have fun
I'll let you let me make the plans

Why are we waiting for someone else to tell us how it should be
I've already found it and God didn't tell me to waste these dreams (to waste these dreams)

Wow. I dont even really know where to start because to tell you the truth, I dont want to think about it. I dont wanna let everything out, i dont want people to think that i am weak and dont know what im doing. It feels like im living day to day, just doing my own thing and hoping that it will work out just great in the end. Its been hard writing essays for college and all them asking about my relationship with God and then going wow i feel like a totaly different person lately, how am i suppost to write on this? I feel almost too busy for God and that I only think of him every now and then. owell i guess right? It will all be better soon...when im up in Briercrest living like a star doing what i know is right and having the best time ever. I cant wait.

GONE

GONE, LIKE YESTERDAY IS GONE, LIKE HISTORY IS GONE. JUST TRY TO PROVE ME WRONG.


She told him she’d rather fix her makeup
Than try to fix what’s going on
But the problem keeps on calling
Even with the cellphone gone
She told him that she believes in living
Bigger than she’s living now
But her world keeps spinning backwards
And upsidedown
Don’t say so long in the cellphone
Don’t spend today away
Cuz today will soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone,
Like history is
Gone, just trying to prove me wrong
And pretend like your immortal

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every day we borrow
Brings us one step closer to the edge (infinity)
Where your treasure, where’s your hope
Forget the world and lose your soul
She pretends like she pretends like she’s immortal
Don’t say so long
Your not that far gone
This could be your big chance to makeup
Today till soon be

Gone, like yeterday is gone,
Like history is gone,
The world keeps spinning on,
Your going going gone,
Like sumemr break is gone,
Like saturday is gone
Just trying to prove me wrong
You pretend like your immortal your immortal

We are not infinite
We are not permanate
Nothing is immediate
We’re so confident
In our accomplishments
Look at how dark it is

Gone, like frank sinatra
Like elvis and his mom
Like al pichino’s cash nothing lasts in this life
My highschool dreams are gone
My childhood sweets are gone
Life is a day that doesn’t last for long

Life is more than money
Time was never money
Time was never cash,
Life is still more than girls
Life is more than hundred dollar bills
And oh the town fills
Life more than fame and rock and roll and thrills
All the riches of the kings
And up in wills we got information in the information age
But do we know what life is
Outside of our conveinent lexus cages

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every moment that we borrow
Brings us closer to the God who’s not short of cash
Hey bono I’m glad you asked
Life is still worth living, life is still worth living

its just sad....no one believes me either..

Lyrics

"Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
I mean one that you dont really know
Ridin around town in a drop-top benz
Hittin switches in my black six-fo
Now gangsta-ass niggas come in all shapes and colors
Some got killed in the past
But this gangtsa here is a smart one
Started living for the lord and Ill last"

I think you’re coming around again
Your psychic told you that she thinks it’s the end of the line
You put on that smile again
And somehow forget you were ever a friend of mine
These days I’m amazed by the changes in you
But this time you decide you don’t like the truth
Don’t throw in the towel and give up on me now, what can I do?

You’re dying to live, you’re dying to know what love is
And I’m trying to show you something more

Now you’re watching the sky
For a top gun falling out of the blue sometimes
You wish you could hide
From this nightmare you swear is becoming your everyday life
I know you don’t show you’re not doing so well
It’s ok cause today there’s a way out of this
Take my hand if you can and we’ll drive all night


You ask me the question
Staring out the window with the memory running down your face
Is there more to this maybe?
Than dancing for pennies in the street like a gypsy girl, baby
You’re trying to lie about why you’re down and out
Can’t you see that it’s me you’re pushing around
When will you be still and take your chances with God?

She’s music to my eyes and she lives in paradise, but something isn’t right
She thinks she’s going blind, but it’s just dark outside
Tripping along under pale street lights
I can’t believe she says that everything’s fine
She’s the luckiest girl alive, she’s the luckiest girl alive…
What a lucky world

"yeah well im done with relationships, from now im gonna be like you."
"why would yo u wanna be like me?"
"cuz you never fall in love with anybody so you never get hurt"
"being hurt sucks, but love is the most beautiful and noble of human emotions.
Its what gives a man hope, what gives his life meaning. Don't turn your back on love jake.
I did and I regret it everyday."

I like where we are

I like where we are,
When we drive, in your car
I like where we are.... Here

Cause our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here

Well you are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper's hello I miss you quite terribly
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

I like where you sleep,
When you sleep, next to me.
I like where you sleep... here

Cause our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here

Well you are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper's hello I miss you quite terribly
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

Our lips, can touch
Our lips, can touch...here

You are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper's hello I miss you quite terribly
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your

You are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper's hello I miss you miss you
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

Here in your arms.
Here in your arms.

Prennez-le

You better listen up, since you screwed me you've been on my mind
Yeah, 'til the day we met, I was cruisin', I was doin' fine
Ooh, but now my world's gone crazy and I think about you all the time
I'm gonna tell it to ya baby, it ain't like it was
There'll be no ifs ands or maybes, only justice because

Hey, baby (I got an angry soul, I got a broken home)
I'm gonna stick it in your heart of chrome
(I got no self-control, you gotta heart of chrome)
Yeah, sugar (and now you're gonna see, that since you messed with me)
I'm gonna stick it in your heart of chrome
(You'll pay eternally, for your heart of chrome)

For your heart of chrome

Yeah, you really made a fool outta me
Everybody knew you used me, but I was just too blind to see
You taped our sexy conversations and you sold 'em to the BBC
You told me people can't be trusted, you gotta watch the things they do
But if you still believe in justice, I'm gonna give it to ya, give it to ya
Ooh!

You told me lies about all that you feel
I realize now that nothing was real
You took everything you could beg borrow steal

Hey, baby (I got an angry soul, I got a broken home)
I'm gonna stick it in your heart of chrome
(I got no self-control, you gotta heart of chrome)
Yeah, sugar (and now you're gonna see,
you'll pay eternally for your heart of chrome)
I'm gonna stick it in your heart of chrome

Update

So they have this sign at my work and I love it. The first time I saw it, I just laughted cuz it was pretty funny. And now whenever I see it i think of all the old people that I serve playing like little kids in the parkinglot. It really is a pretty funny thought when you have George and Dorthy bouncing a ball back and forth but since they are so old everything is in slow mo.

My life seems to be revolving around work. I really dont mind it, I accualy love it. Its nice having a place where it almost feels like home. I know I know, but Indy, dont you live at the church too? Sure I do...but I just have gotten so close to the people at work I love being around them. And when I see them at school too its just awesome.

This week has been loonnngg. I think it is just because i've been studying for tests and stuff since its the end of the quarter..but iono. I guess it would be nice to just take a week or so off of work and just be able to do nothing besides school. Routine gets tiring after a while.

GAH

I dont get why people are so dumb. I dont get why they do half the crap they do. AND you know what I hate more? Is when people try to blame all their crap on something else. You know? It seems like we're always trying to make an excuse for something. If we're late, they ask why. If we didn't something we say it was an accident. What if we were to tell someone that we just were, that we dont have an excuse? I dont think people could handle someone taking responsibily for their actions. Like if I was late to a class and the teacher asks why, and instead of saying something like traffic or car wouldnt start, we just say were late cuz we are. That we take all responsibility for it. I guess im just tired of people thinking they can get away with things because they "were drunk" or something like that. Dont be stupid. Just think for once.

Now I realize I was just pretending...

Homecoming = Amazing

Morrow + Working for 9.5 hours.... = $$$$

THere we go

OWELL

Life goes on and thats what matters. Im not worried. Im not scared.

My theme for the day was the one writen on my arm, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desire of your heart." That tells me to just be happy and not worry. To just say owell when things are messed up. Really helped me today. One I want to remember

Ace Of Spades

Ace of Spades. The Celestial. Space Ace.

True

"you just had a rebound. Which dont get me wrong can be a really fun distraction but when its over, your left thinking about the girl you really like, the one that broke your heart." Jim from The Office

OMGOSH!

"Im always one step ahead, like a carpender....who builds stairs..." Dwight

The Office

"Hug it out ____,

That is what men say to each other after a fight. They hug it out, and doing so they just let it go...and walk away and they're done. Not a good thing to say to a woman I have found out....doesnt translate."

Wow its so true and I love it. Just dont say the ending is all ;-)

The Ace of Hearts. The Starbearer. The Prince Of Hearts.

Goodbye, cruel world
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind
Goodbye

Those Nites

I remember when we used to laugh about nothing at all
It was better than going mad
From trying to solve all the problems we're going through
Forget 'em all
Cause on those nights we would stand and never fall
Together we faced it all
Remember when we'd

Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In the dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive
We'd listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those night kept me alive

I remember when we used to drive anywhere but here
As long as we'd forget our lives
We were so young and confused
That we didn't know to laugh or cry
Those nights were ours
They will live and never die
Together we'd stand forever
Remember when we'd

Those nights belong to us
There's nothing wrong with us
Those nights belong to us

I remember when we used to laugh
And now i wish those nights would last

Ive had so many of those nights lately. Just so unsure about a million things and I only wish I could forget them all and just laugh

COFFEE TIME

I was taught how to do coffee today at work...pretty awesome. I did forgot a few things of bread there at the end..but owell I fixed it. It really easy and fun. So now hopefully I can do that more often instead of stations. YAY!

Just when your on the bottom, when your one the floor feeling crushed, when your resenting everything that you once believed in, He comes through for you like you knew he would. He saves your butt. As much as you might hate some of the strings he has attached to it, you are willing to make those sacrifices if the end is what you want.

Crazy

Crazy, but thats how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe its not to late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate

Mental wounds not healing
Lifes a bitter shame
Im going off the rails on a crazy train

Ive listened to preachers
Ive listened to fools
Ive watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it and you have the role

Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
Im going off the rails on a crazy train

I know that things are going wrong for me
You gotta listen to my words
Yeh-h

Heirs of a cold war
Thats what weve become
Inheriting troubles Im mentally numb
Crazy, I just cannot bear
Im living with something that just isnt fair

Mental wounds not healing
Who and whats to blame
Im going off the rails on a crazy train

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Be You

"If you really like Mong-ryong, then you wont need my permission. Mong-ryong will come to you."

Wow. I think it is so true. When someone is between to people that they like/love and those two people go together and talk about it, its so crazy. I just feel that this explains alot of me lately. That i have almost been stealing people from others. And I hate to do to them but it just happens. But if you really like that person and put an effort into it and tell them how you feel, they will come to you. Its that honesty, that trueness that you have when your around them that they just love. Its how you say "i miss you" or "baby" that they cant stop thinking about. Its how you will drop anything for them becuase thats how much they mean to you. And by doing that you "win" them over. You dont need the permission from the person they are currently with to date them or what ever, you just need to be you.

Wow

today was awesome. I didnt think i was gonna be doing too much when i woke up but it turned out to be alot. After doing nothing for a lil while, i went to some stores with travis and we decided to call zack and see what he was doing, so after the 3 of us set a time to rock out in the basement me and travis went to the pawn shop. I saw some awesome guitars but pretty beat up. Saw some bases and all...Then we got to the church.

I dont know how it happened but it turned out to be travis on base, zack on guitar and me on drums. Now i wasnt all that bad, i was keeping some good rythms. Sure i could use some more practice but it was awesome. Than me and zack switched for about 10 mins and he was doing good too. It was cool all and all.

Then did some more stuff that you'll have to ask travis about and then went home. Me and travis played a lil more together. It was awesome

Music = Life

so having early release can get pretty boring. I thought it would be pretty awesome but when u dont have anyone else that has it with you it gets soo lonely. And I dont really have much hw to do so i cant really do that....owell....

I guess ill live....

WOW!!

So someone please tell me how I do it!! Cuz I sure dont know, is it just cuz i know the right words to say at the right time? Or that I just care so much or what? ALL I know is that chris sure was right...

My End

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
Ill never look into your eyes...again

Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...strangers hand
In a...desperate land

Lost in a roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah

Theres danger on the edge of town
Ride the kings highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby

Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake...hes old, and his skin is cold

The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and well do the rest

The blue bus is callin us
The blue bus is callin us
Driver, where you taken us

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door...and he looked inside
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother...i want to...fuck you

Cmon baby, take a chance with us
Cmon baby, take a chance with us
Cmon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin a blue rock
On a blue bus
Doin a blue rock
Cmon, yeah

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free
But youll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

My Friday

So today felt like my first day off in a while. I did have wednesday off but I went into work to help out for a bit then I had prac and YG. But today I just got to come home after school and do nothing! So amazing. Then I got to experience Halo 3 which was awesome. Morrow is gonna be a crazy day. Im trying to get all my college papers done and out of the way so I can get them in and also sorta clean up my room....and do all my hw. AND on top of all that I have work. We'll see how it works out. I am excited to work morrow tho. If you know what I mean ;-)

Today was a good day. Pretty boring classes...sub in french so we did nothing. But 7th period was fun since I had no class.

Fortune for the day

School, work friends, Band prac, YG, Hw. That was pretty much my day. School was normal, took an AP stat test which was easy. Then AP french was just normal, didnt do a thing really. Film lit we finished Casablanca and I really liked the ending, that was a good Frenchmen. Then I sat outside the band room for 7th period and played guitar and had fun with that, started to write a song which its really awesome! Then I went to work and hung with those crazy cats for an hour or so cuz I had nothing to do till prac. But I wish now I woulda gone down so I could have been more organized for YG.

Everything was fine, the band coulda done better if I payed more attention but we got mindy started on the drums which was my main focus for the week/month. And now im just sitting here sorta talking to people and somewhat doing my Pre cal but not so much since I have no class in the morn. Im more trying to figure out how im gonna bs this essay morrow....with a KISS song, which makes it even better.

so it hurts alot to hear how my friends are. That they ofcourse were betting on my downfalll. So only to when school started? Looks like u didnt have to even wait that long.

You guys really piss me off you know that? Maybe if I had some friends that were accualy suportive things would work out.

Ive got nothing, nothing to say to you
I need space, gimme a few.
It aint gonna happen, so just give up
LEAVE ME ALONE, I DONT GIVE A

Whose Your Baby?

Baby, you know I heard the neighbors say
Baby, you might be leavin' me today
Oh yeah, mmm, someone's come along who shares your time
Don't care, no I don't, no
But you can't be his and still be mine, so
Ooh, got to choose who's your baby
Ooh, got to choose

Sometimes, oh sometimes, I know you need a change of pace
Oh yeah, but I ain't gonna run no race
Baby, you've got to tell me yes or no
Alright, alright, come on and tell me
Tell me if you're gonna go, come on

Ooh, got to choose who's your baby
Ooh, got to choose who's your baby

Ooh, got to choose who's your baby
Ooh, got to choose, got to choose

Who's your baby, who's your baby
Who's your baby, who's your baby

The Black Priest

So talking with someone tonite, I really realized how much its true. I guess when im in a relationship with someone I bring God into it. Its who I am, God is apart of me and people just have to understand that I guess. But by the whole "black priest" idea, they see it soo much and start wanting to believe...

...On another note....God rocks, haha!

Wait

You’re rushing, doing everything anything on the verge.
Not even thinking about what if you’re doing is absurd.
I don’t mean to be the one to cut in,
but you might want to stop and
think about what you’re doing.
Here we go, everybody in the house one time,

everybody get up with their
rhyme and the times and the lines,
and everybody says it, everybody
goes and everybody plays it…
what, and everybody says you’re front,
and everybody says you go with
your flow, and everybody knows,
everybody sings, and everybody brings…
Have fun go ahead, do anything instead.
You can do what you want if it looks fun.
But God is in control of the
route and that is what it’s all about.
Movin' in a van, so what we are
a band, now you gotta get up,
get the lights shining and jumping on your feet,

we’ll hit you with a beat, let’s
move for He has given us everything.
There isn’t a time, a place you can be,
not a place in your face that you cannot see,
back up your face are you talking, yea,
I said it’s grace, He will be with me every place.
And why now, everybody says it, why now,
and everybody says you go with
your flow and everybody knows,
and everybody sings and everybody brings it.

You go and everybody says it,
you go and everybody throws it,
you go and everybody fakes it one
time, and everybody shows it,
one time and everybody throws it,
one time and everybody goes it,
one time and everybody blows it.

Here we go, come on.
Come on man tell me what you were thinking,
doing everything with a selfish reason.
I didn’t meant to be the one to cut in,
but you gotta stop and think about what you’re doing.
You sang your song way out of tune,
so step off now and let it loose,
I’m not gonna do it your way!
I’m doing it for God, so I’m here today.
Everybody goes and everybody knows,
everybody sings and everybody brings.
Bring it on, bring it on this time,
everybody sets it up with their rhyme,
But now, everybody says somehow,
and everybody says you go with your flow
and everybody knows and everybody sings,
and everybody brings it.

What is Love

I think you’re coming around again
Your psychic told you that she thinks it’s the end of the line
You put on that smile again
And somehow forget you were ever a friend of mine
These days I’m amazed by the changes in you
But this time you decide you don’t like the truth
Don’t throw in the towel and give up on me now, what can I do?

You’re dying to live, you’re dying to know what love is
And I’m trying to show you something more

Now you’re watching the sky
For a top gun falling out of the blue sometimes
You wish you could hide
From this nightmare you swear is becoming your everyday life
I know you don’t show you’re not doing so well
It’s ok cause today there’s a way out of this
Take my hand if you can and we’ll drive all night

You’re dying to live, you’re dying to know what love is
And I’m trying to show you something more
You ask me the question
Staring out the window with the memory running down your face
Is there more to this maybe?
Than dancing for pennies in the street like a gypsy girl, baby
You’re trying to lie about why you’re down and out
Can’t you see that it’s me you’re pushing around
When will you be still and take your chances with God?
She’s music to my eyes and she lives in paradise, but something isn’t right
She thinks she’s going blind, but it’s just dark outside
Tripping along under pale street lights
I can’t believe she says that everything’s fine
She’s the luckiest girl alive, she’s the luckiest girl alive…
What a lucky world

You’re dying to live, you’re dying to know what love is
And I’m trying to show you something more

200! Woot

Today rocked. To tell the truth, school only feels like the morning to me. After i get out at 1 I hung at work and all and that took most of my day, which was fine. Ive really been getting to know them which makes me soo happy. They are a pretty rad group.

Band prac was intesting...

then hw all nite, yay.

Have a great day everyone!

being short handed at work really sucks....likes alot....

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?

Chill out whatcha yelling' for?
Lay back it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
you will see
I like you the way you are
When we're drivin' in your car
and you're talking to me one on one but you've become

Somebody else round everyone else
You're watching your back like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
And you fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no

You come over unannounced
dressed up like you're somethin' else
where you are and where it's at you see
you're making me
laugh out when you strike your pose
take off all your crappy clothes
you know you're not fooling anyone
when you've become

Somebody else round everyone else
Watching your back, like you can't relax
Trying to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
And you fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no

Chill out whatcha yelling for?
Lay back, it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You will see

Somebody else round everyone else
You're watching your back, like you can't relax
You're trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
And you fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like your somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
promise me I'm never gonna find you fake this
no no no

I heard this song on the radio this morning and it got stuck in my head and I accauly felt it a bit. The first line of the chorus atleast. And then today at work I heard it playin and it really really was how I felt. Alot of interesting stuff happened before work and I just had to sort through it all and I still dont understand everything. Why you have to go and make things so complicated? Gosh.

Wow. Just plain wow..


And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight


And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am


And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive


And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

The Way The System Works

so, interesting day. Parade was amazing, got to meet Tommy Thayer from KISS and got him to autograph my KISS shirt. Got to show off my uni skills in front of people from work, so that was cool. Then I got my hair cut for pics morrow which im excited about. And then worked with pretty much everyone that works there but Erika which was awesome but sad that she wasnt there.

Then I hung with the guys and lauren. We played cards which is always fun. I sorta felt bad though. I felt that I was playing a game I didnt even have a chance at winning. But that was probly just cuz of the way I betted. I had the cards but it was the way I was playing the game. But then at the same time it was just sad to watch how the others played it. It was my first time watching it you see. To tell you the truth I would think I would have the best chance at winning but thats not the case I guess. I really felt bad for michael because of the txt mindy sent travis. I have to say if I was in his spot I woulda probly lost my head. But thats what everyone hates about me, so owell.

Its so funny how everyone knows whats going on but yet no one will admit it or talk about it, straight up atleast. Everyone has to do the whole im soo sneaky and be talking to you and then go talk to them and blah blah blah. It was like at work when Baigal was trying to figure out who I liked and then she told me I should get to know Tram. I mean, im not dumb, that just means that she digs me and I should go for it. Then Baigal goes and probly tells Tram that I really dont know her so there for dont know if I like her. Its just the way the system works I guess. I wish people would just be straight up with each other or accualy try when they are gonna be sneaky. Like when Mindy is around Katie, everyone knows mindy cant stand it and just doesnt want to be in the situation so she there for makes comments that are pretty harsh. When really she should either just come out and say "hey katie, i really dont care for you all that much" or she should accauly pretend that she likes katie instead of doing both at once. It gets to the point where you are like, why? Whats the point to it anymore? If im gonna end up going to poker night just to feel like I dont belong there cuz Rj and Travis are trying to win Lauren and then Mindy is there cuz shes the friend, why am I there? Just for kicks and giggles? Specaily when we all know that Jordan doesnt really like me hanging with mindy and its pretty obveous that mindy sure doesnt seem to want to be around me either. So I end up sitting there with only Chris, Fat Cody and Michael who somewhat care about me being there. And it turns out that im more with Fat Cody than anyone. And while travis and Rj and striking out, im just thinking, "is it really worth it? Is it really worth being here pretending that I dont notice it all and try to feel like I fit in with them but really I feel like crap cuz im not hitting on a girl or on mindy's top 5 list?" When really the one person I truly feel loved and accepted by was gone. The one person I accualy miss at times like those. And that person wasnt Jesse. It was God. I just don't see it in any of them anymore. I feel that its gone. That they all have lost hope. With all the cussing and what not, I just dont get it. We make jokes about each others faith cuz we are so insecuare about our own. We forget that God is always with us watching us. If it wasnt for small little things we all would be gone. If it wasnt for the bible study mindy just started she probly would stop coming. If it wasnt for the friends and people, chris would probly be gone. If it wasnt for the chance to make fun of us Free Meths, Michael would probly be gone. If it wasnt for Mindy, Jordan would probly be gone. And if it wasnt for the music. I would probly be wondering why I am still there. When really should it be, if it wasnt for God, none of us would probly be there?

So lets take all our fake faces and rip them off. Take all the problems and throw em out there. Where EVERYONE knows what it is, instead of hiding alll this crap. "secrets dont make friends" and dont keep them either. Im tired of letting everything that people think or do a secret, we should own up to our actions and thoughts. Thats why I said alot of the things I did. I probly will get alot of crap for it but owell, its true and thats why it hurts to read it. When you can actualy come to me in person and tell me how you hated everything I said about you in this blog, then I will tell you im sorry, if in fact i am, Because you owned up to it and didnt go and try to be hiden or sneaky by sending a message or w/e. But when you can come up to me in public and tell me you have a problem with me, then I will be happy.

My Day

So I am really excited about the parade tommow...but not cuz I get to uni all the way around town and show off but because I GET TO MEET TOMMY THAYER FROM KISS!!! They announced on the KISS website that he WILL BE signing autographs and what not. So I am gonna have fun.

Today was a good day. After film lit I hung with chrissy and tim in the band hallway which was fun, I love being able to do that, just hang around the school doing nothing while others are in class.

Then work was a hoot. Went early cuz Baigal was complaining for me to and then she wasnt even there...but owell. I have to work the next 3 days I believe so that will be fun....lol. I had a good day at work tho, I was able to get everything out fast which is nice. Then I think Its tuesday Erika is back and shes always fun to work with.

Riding the tri-met bus home...hmm. First off lets just say it was a total pain. Everything was good untill I had to wait for a friggen half hour at murry and hart cuz the bus just was slow. I coulda walked home in like 10 mins but figured I would just try the transfer ticket thing and see what it was like..pissed me off.

Then I did alot of nothing, haha.

Thats What I like About You

What I like about you, you hold me tight
Tell me I'm the only one, wanna come over tonight, yeah

You're whispering in my ear
Tell me all the things that I wanna to hear, 'cause that's true
That's what I like about you

What I like about you, you really know how to dance
When you go up, down, jump around, think about true romance, yeah

You're whispering in my ear
Tell me all the things that I wanna to hear, 'cause that's true
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you

Wahh!

Hey!

What I like about you, you keep me warm at night
Never wanna' let you go, know you make me feel alright, yeah

You're whispering in my ear
Tell me all the things that I wanna to hear, 'cause that's true
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you (whispered)
That's what I like about you (whispered)
That's what I like about you (whispered)
That's what I like about you (whispered)


This song remindes me of someone sooo much its crazy. But at the same time sad because of how it remindes me of them...awesome song tho.

Beth

Beth will know who she is.

Beth, I hear you callin'
But I can't come home right now
Me and the boys are playin'
And we just can't find the sound
Just a few more hours
And I'll be right home to you
I think I hear them callin'
Oh, Beth what can I do
Beth what can I do

You say you feel so empty
That our house just ain't a home
And I'm always somewhere else
And you're always there alone

Just a few more hours
And I'll be right home to you
I think I hear them callin'
Oh, Beth what can I do
Beth what can I do

Beth, I know you're lonely
And I hope you'll be alright
'Cause me and the boys will be playin'
All night

What is it that you want me to do? Ive admited Im a horrible person, what more do u want from me? We both know what there is to expect and we both will never be let down by those assumptions. I dont think I will ever be able to tell you why I dont want it to change. I dont think I could ever let that much of a part of me out. I dont think I could ever trust anyone to that level. And yet, I still tell people some of my deepest things and I know that it is going to get out, I know it. Its the "boyfriend/Girlfriend code" that allows everyone to tell their "buddy" who is intitled do what ever they want with the information. Theres a reason why I told you and not them. But I also told you in all knowing that everyone will know by a week. So its my fault in the end for it going around. But thats not my point.

Iono what to do. Im sorry I dont. I wish I could help you and make a difference but Im just too scared. I mean, we've come so far doing it this way why not do it for another year and then when everyone leaves let it take care of itself. Theres reasons why even though we know exactly what is gonna happen that we let it. Its because we are used to it, we rather have the pain of something we know than the joy of the unknown. So tell me, what you are and Ill tell you that your so much more than anything you thought you could be.

I know that you
You were busy living your own life
I can't make you make you give me all of your time
I wish it could be like it was yesterday
I think that it stinks that these stupid problems got in the way

So let's go back now
To the times that were fun
So sick of the lies that someone else's mind has won

I don't care what they think
I don't care who all cares
I just don't want you to leave

So tell me what you are and
I'll tell you you're so much more than Anything you thought that you could be
And tell me what you are
And I'll tell you you're so much more than anything you thought that you could be

So can you call on me too sometime tonight
I don't care what we do
We can get in a fight
I'm tired of living in this small enclosed space(?)
So let me out we'll have fun
I'll let you let me make the plans

Why are we waiting for someone else to tell us how it should be
I've already found it and God didn't tell me to waste these dreams (to waste these dreams)

So tell me what you are and
I'll tell you you're so much more than Anything you thought that you could be
And tell me what you are
And I'll tell you you're so much more than anything you thought that you could be

I see you trying so hard to run the race to the finish line
But all this stuff keeps getting in the way

Beth babe, dont let others tell you how it should be. Do what you want. I never intended to hurt you. I love you too much for that to happen. I know we've had our times and I know that we both wonder why, but I know that we both know that we cant turn back now, that we are too into it all the turn it around, all for not. Its the fact that I do keep trying, and that I keep letting you try. Its the fact that we will forgive each other of our darkest sin and be closer than ever.

New Adventure

So today in film lit we sorta talked about this. We discused the mythilogical hero and we had to write about how each of our years in high school was like the cycle. And it made me think alot and this song really got me thinking about how this year is a new adventure, the cycle starting all over again. Lately Ive been thinking about past stuff and I guess I miss it all. Being kids and having those huge dreams that never seem to come. As much as it hurts, I can always sail away with memories. But we can always sail away with now. Je ici partirai pour vouz, mais je ne reviendrai pas. Je ferrai que tu veux et demanderai mais me donnez aide. Je vous aime. Je vous toujours aimerai. Merci Dieu.

Im sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea
Ive got to be free, free to face the life thats ahead of me
On board, Im the captain, so climb aboard
Well search for tomorrow on every shore
And Ill try, oh lord, Ill try to carry on

I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy, some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We live happily forever, so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold
But well try best that we can to carry on

A gathering of angels appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope, and this is what they said
They said come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me

I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise
They climbed aboard their starship and headed for the skies
Singing come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me

so internet is back...and its real nice!

The Move

So the past week has been crazy. On saturday we moved to the new house but the carpet was still wet from being cleaned, so we couldnt move anything into the house, you can see what a problem that would be. So we were lucky and most of it was dry that nite so we got the beds set up and slept. Sunday after church we got the rest set up and working.

Now we are still living in boxes it seems but are slowly getting things back to how they were. Going to school is annoing cuz i have to take the bus and its really boring and i dont like having to go when i have late arival and i dont like having to wait to go home when i have early release.

Did someone order a Doctor?

You need my love baby, oh so bad
You're not the only one I've ever had
And if I say I wanna set you free
Don't you know you'll be in misery
They call me (Dr. Love)
They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)
I've got the cure you're thinkin' of (calling Dr. Love)

And even though I'm full of sin
In the end you'll let me in
You'll let me through, there's nothin' you can do
You need my lovin', don't you know it's true

So if you please get on your knees
There are no bills, there are no fees
Baby, I know what your problem is
The first step of the cure is a kiss

So call me (Dr. Love)
They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)
I am your doctor of love (calling Dr. Love), ha
They call me (Dr. Love), they call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)
I've got the cure you're thinkin' of (calling Dr. Love)

so I like how when Im feeling blue and complain how i know everything will be great in the end and all but its just the now that sucks and im not to happy....God changes it. It makes me feel good.

Amazingness

So I done being a loser and I dont care what happened. Im better than that. Im a man. I can pull through anything. I need my cofidence back. Thats what girls like anyways. With my hair and guitar I can get anything I want. I mean did u see me on stage tonite? I was a friggin rockstar with my duel guitars and leading skills that arnt really that amazing! I dont know where God is gonna take me but I sure am sure that it will be greatness. God has nothing short of amazingness coming from me.

There's something happening here.
What it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware
I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind
I think it's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
What a field-day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly say, hooray for our side
It's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away
We better stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, now, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down

Band!

So today the band played finaly and we totaly rocked. Good job guys! It was awesome having the speakers and all up. Then with mics and all everything just sounded great. I cant wait for next time.

On another note, today was the first day that I accualy realized that we are moving...and all the pain it will be getting places and all since im going to be so far out. Oh well I will live I guess.

A millon to one

American woman, stay away from me
American woman, mama let me be
Don’t come hangin’ around my door
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
Than spend my time growin’ old with you
Now woman, I said stay away,
American woman, listen what I say.

Mad Man

I got nothing, nothing to say to you

I need space, gimme a few

It aint gonna happen, so just give up

Leave me alone, I don’t give a

Take me away, strap me up in white

If that’s what it takes to get you out of my sight

Lock me up, throw away the key

I don’t need you, I only need me

I’m the mad man, all alone

The mad man, your cards are shown

Crazy, that’s what you think I am

Crazy, that’s who I am

Break a man’s heart but cant touch his spirit

What’s he gonna do, you better well fear it

See it in his eyes, the boiling rage

Better make sure hes in his cage

I’m the mad man, all alone

The mad man, your cards are shown

Crazy, that’s what you think I am

Crazy, that’s who I am

With my padded walls and padded door

I wont get far but that’s not to fear

With hate I’m rotted to the core

Spear my life, if you would dear

Mad Man

Writin and Composed By Indy Elwood ©

A Million To One

Baby, now that you've made up your mind
I'm gonna let you go, if that's what it takes to show love is blind
I gave you the best love you ever had, but it wasn't enough
So if you think you're so smart, go and play with your heart
When you walk out the door, you'll realize what you never did before

A million to one - that's what it will be
A million to one - there's someone better than me
A million to one - no, you never will find
A million to one - another love like mine

Yeah, we chose our sides and I've been misunderstood
But everytime I try to open your eyes, I'm damned and I'm no good
Day after day, you're further away, I can't take anymore
So it's time that you go, but I want you to know, I won't stand in your way
Deep in my heart I know, girl you're runnin' away

A million to one

One of these days you'll come out of your haze, no matter what you do
It'll be too late, something good won't wait, love is runnin' out on you

A million to one, a million to one

A million to one - listen to your heart girl - a million to one - oh
A million to one - no, you never will find
A million to one - another love like mine
A million to one - no, you never will find
A million to one - another love like mine

So Tell Me.

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness and if I had stayed up with you all night then I'd know how to save a life. I remember when we'd used to laugh. About nothing at all. It was better than going mad from trying to solve all the problems we were going through. Forget them all. I've wasted so much time! Dont leave me alone, cuz I better see it all. Dont leave me alone. Im, fallin in the black, slipping through the cracks. You come to me with scares on your rists. You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this. Just came to say goodbye, didnt want you to see me cry, im fine. But I know its a lie. I know I dont feel like talking right now. Take me out of this place, make me a raging fire. Make me what you want to. So lets go back now. So tell me, what you are and I'll tell you that your so much more than you thought you could be. Feels like im going through the motions in the dark. All I know is I’m so tired, Living life I barely feel. Give me hope, give me fire. Give me something real. Cuz I dont wanna keep sleepwalking through endless days I've had enough of, going no where. God I want to wake up wake up. Its now or never, come pull me from this dream. Where everything is colorless and nothing's what it seems.

Gig

Tonite I played again at the place I did last time but I used my electric guitar which was awesome. It made me feel like I really knew how to play good but I did notice one thing....I need to learn my scales. There was a time where Charles was sorta off playing something on the paino and I could have somewhat soloed and I was lightly doing some but I didnt know enough of my scales to do more.

So that is something I will work on. It will be fun and Pastor Nate said he would work with me one picking so that will be fun.

Oh COme on

I dont even know anymore...
...I just need to turn off my brain

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming let me out!
Pray tomorrow takes me higher
Pressure on people
People on streets

Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

I watched the world float to the
Dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something
To do with you
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Can’t find the answers
I’ve been crawling on my knees
Looking for anything
To keep me from drowning
Promises have been turned to lies
Can’t even be honest inside
I'm running backwards
Watching my life wave me goodbye

Some people wait forever
Some people just run out of time
Some people live in darkness
And give up just before the light

I just want one more chance
To put my arms in fragile hands
I thought you said forever
Over and over

Tell me that You will listen
You're touch is what i'm missing
And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing You

So tell me You'll be there
Tell me You're the cure
And tell me You'll be waiting
When my face is on the floor