So the last two days everything has pretty much gotten on my nerves. There have been things that havnt, like Jesse and Danielle and guitars, both other than that I just feel pissy. Last nite I exploded pretty much and felt like I was crazy. I just have feel really unloved lately. Like by friends and people. Today I felt like I was just a huge screw up cuz when ever I would be doing something its seemed like I was in the way of people. So I finaly just went to my room, turned on the Paul Stanley and took a nap. Its just like people get mad over the dumbest things and make others feel like crap cuz of it. I asked my brother for a ride up to my moms work and he just went crazy....if I had known he was gonna die by using a 5th of a gallon of gas on me I woulda just walked. I think its just that everything is gonna change for me in a month and I have almost no control on it. I have to figure out home im gonna get to and from school and work. I have to keep all the comitments I have. Its my senior year and I really have to focus. Its just like BAM time to get real Indy. If it was up to me I would sit at home all day playing guitar and write songs and hang with friends. And through all of this instead of looking to God like I asked him, I have turned to other things that I know arnt good. I feel so two faced and hypocritical. I guess thats something I really should work on. Like when I tell people "dont worry" I need to do that myself. There is only one thing I really ever worry about and it is that someone. I worry about if they truly do feel the way they tell me. I worry about stupid things that I know arn't true. I worry about when the next time I will get to see them. Then I also tell people when they are fighting with someone or unhappy to just get over it. To just talk and work it out. As Jesse loves to say "get your panties out of a bunch". Well I guess I usaly do this fine, if there is something I will just either get over it or talk it out. But there has been one person that I just havnt been able to. And tonite is the nite I just get over myself. I have been knowing its the thing I have to do but just keep ignoring it, say oh I can do it later. Well I will do it now, because I wanna be partying like a rockstart that I am later.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
You're doing good:) Hang in there~ moving isn't easy and the whole family might be stressed~ I know ours was. But it gets better when things settle out and you get direction, don't worry:)
But you are very loved dude, and God's working through you! It's really cool to see =)
Post a Comment